Living life outside the box

The power of intention and free will, and the story of my life!

 

The power of intention and fee will, and the story of my life!

 

The power of intention and free will, has huge implications for your life, and for the next path you choose to be on, for your personal journey.

I’d like to share a personal story as an example of how true this actually is. The truth about being mindful of all decisions we make is such an important factor. If you can stick in there for this long dialog, I assure you, there are a few gems as my story progresses.

 

The baseline

 

As a baseline, let’s say my childhood was generally great, but there were definitely some things I had to deal with like divorced parents, and some unsettling years as a result. At that time, I dealt with a lot of anxiety, and other social issues of insecurity etc., for this and many other reasons. This struggle would however shape my character, and teach me some very important lessons about my life, relationships, and eventually my career choices, and personal interests. The one person in my life I could always count on, was my Mother, and her faith and strength, with what I saw her endure. Since the subject of this topic is geared more towards a particular example, I’ll have to skip some of the details to stay on topic for this article.

Because of the many complications and distractions in my life while I was young, I lacked a certain focus on exactly being able to identify my talents, my skills, and my purpose. My family was a very busy one, and with me being the oldest sibling, I feel some direction might have been overlooked (that’s just life sometimes). From my current perspective however, I feel that this was for a reason, and for a purpose that later would propel me on a path that was far more interesting, than if I had just randomly chosen what people consider a “successful career” from the very beginning.

 

My Journey into the working world

 

My Journey in the working world started with a few different kinds of jobs, starting with a Paper route, that I would begin at 4:30am or 5am in the morning, whenever the papers arrived in the summer months. I was in Junior Highschool at that time. I learned that if I was up on time every day, and got the paper to people’s homes on time (especially on the weekends), that people would reward my hard work with a tip in a white envelope taped to the front door, usually behind a screen door. This is how we did it in our small town growing up.

My route was a typical few hours run in the am, and was grueling on foot. I was not able to manage a bike and the heavy bag, as my bike was too small (and so was I…lol), so I had to walk the entire route. Other jobs I had were at home, like shoveling snow in the winter, and cutting grass in the summer. I learned that to do a good job, rewarded me with compliments, pride, and sometimes an allowance.

Then through a friend’s recommendation, I began to work weekly, at a very well-known convenience, store, that was more like a small grocery store, with a full butcher shop. I worked behind the butcher shop, cutting meat, making sausages, stocking shelves, and cleaning up after hours. This is where I really began to learn the pride in helping others, and with serving the community. I got to know lots of customers on a first name basis, and some of the most interesting and sometimes quirky characters that lived in my small town.

I seemed to enjoy doing a good job, and working with people, and I became kind of a perfectionist in everything I would do growing up as a teenager. At least with the things I liked doing!

 

Learning to teach myself

 

I taught myself a lot of scientific, and mechanical skills as a young man (starting in my preteen years), to the point where I could fix cars, electronics like record players, radios, and early hand held electronic games (e.g. replacing bad resisters, and capacitors due to a power surge, or replacing electronic switches etc.). I learned about electronics with my 160 in one electronics project kit.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc16v7QnakM

 

 

I pretty much took every electronic or mechanical appliance apart etc., and put it all back together… just to see how it works. I’d almost always get things back together correctly, and working again. These early childhood experiences, would shape my interest in problem solving, and logical thinking. One of the things I used to do, was look into the back of magazines, and try to see the latest gadgets to send away for, or the latest ideas. This is where I started my interest in fitness as well, with the Charles Atlas dynamic tension program.

 

 

 

One of the magazines I used to get was “Ranger Rick”, and inside that magazine, was an article about a secret coding language, you could use to send and share secret messages with your friends.

 

 

This secret language of symbols, for whatever reason really drew me in. I remember to this day, that some voice inside me said, that I would be working with codes in my lifetime. I remember it like it was yesterday, like a real inner knowing about codes or symbols of some sort. I don’t recall anyone even talking about computers at that time in the late 70s early 80s in my family at least. Anyway… I believe these codes were something I could use right from the magazine, a sort of mapping from the original letter in the alphabet, to the equivalent replacement symbol. Something like this, but it had cooler symbols, and an offset tactic.

 

 

I remember there was an offset applied however, of a random number you had to choose (and what to do with overflow offsets), before you knew what the exact offset to the actual letter mapping would be (this was the secret key). Long story short, I was hooked on the idea of sharing hand written messages to my friends that only I and they could read. From there, I was introduced to calligraphy (and font types), and I started to draw with a calligraphy pen, because I thought it was so awesome looking to write like that. My normal handwriting was horrible, but I ended up doing pretty well with the calligraphy if I took my time. I considered it my first exposure to art, and the fact that I had the ability to do “copy art” at the very least.

 

My artistic side

 

From that, I took any magazine I could find, and started to copy images from the magazine, like the cigarette ads etc.I tried to make my version of the ad in black/gray and white… with my number two pencil, and a sketch pad. I began to take any pictures I could find, and started adding color pencil, and drawing things like the Bird of Paradise. From this process, I gained a real appreciation for the beauty of nature, through the images of our encyclopedia collection. Man, I seemed to just have a knack for art, but again couldn’t write a sentence for the life of me that anyone could read :-D! I’m still in junior high at this time, learning and exploring my talents, but later forgetting about them all. We’ll get to that in a minute.

 

 

So, then my high school years came along, and I had more challenges with anxiety appearing, requiring me to start trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life; albeit unsuccessfully at that time. Those early years were very challenging for me, as I really was not following any of the things that were actually in my heart. First it started off with a choice I had to make, to either go to a new school which was a 40-minute drive away, which was a trade school (a very new concept in our area at that time), or stick with my home town school. Going to trade school, was not what most of my friends in my small town, decided to do. The kids I grew up with – that I knew well, all stayed behind, except my best friend, who was a year behind me in school, so we never shared the same classes when we were in high school (we hung out weekends and summers mostly). As with anyone’s experiences with High school, there were many challenges to begin with, but this was an extra challenge not having grown up with most of the kids at this school. Since I made the choice to go to a trade school, I was suddenly expected to explore several career choices, and then in my second-year pick something permanent (I chose Carpentry as my major study). I was very good with my hands, and got good grades in my shop classes, while my academics suffered for various reasons.

 

Focusing my attention on the trades

 

 

I chose to focus my attention more on my shop responsibilities, and mixed in with some rebelliousness against the system of learning (for various reasons [some of which I felt were legitimate]), I was still able to manage to pass each year in school. Some years and subjects better than others let’s say. Because of the many challenges I faced in those early years with emotions and anxiety, I was never focused back on my own talents and abilities, and motivations. I had no idea about personal purpose, but I always had a drive for the subjects I liked, and a good work Ethic for the hands-on stuff. Anything to do with Math, and Science I loved, but not so much with history and other subjects I was less interested in. A negative attitude from perceived bad experiences (again this was a young teenager’s view), was part of the problem with my ability to find a more focused motivation, and to figure out the value of Education. I really thought the only way to learn was to give into the system of learning that society thinks… is the only way. I’ve since discovered that there are various types of intelligences (and brain specialties), and many different ways to teach yourself outside of the typical societal system. I learned that through reading books like “The Brain that Changes itself”, where the brain can adapt to various types of learning, and that deficits in even extreme cases can be corrected in very amazing ways, through intention, and motivation to adapt. I became fascinated with how the brain works, and how spiritual philosophies seemed to tie into that science.

 

I learned that many great people, found their way, and learned their talents and skills later in life, and that’s definitely been more than a successful approach for me. Once you learn about your own self-worth, motivation and purpose, things become much easier, and great things can happen with just managing attitude, and intention. Some of the greatest minds who never relied on the current system (which is by the way one of the best ways to learn), are some of the most successful people to have ever lived. That’s an easy one to Google so I won’t bother with listing a bunch of names like Sir Richard Branson for example, or Steve Jobs. The point being, to not limit yourself because of what others perceive is the only way to educate one’s self. There are far more ways to learn that just that, and success is based more on drive and intention, than any other factors of learning.

 

That sets the stage

 

Anyway, that “kind of” sets the stage for the rest of my life’s experiences, with trying different things, but never truly being happy, and settling for jobs and relationships out of a perceived sense of security… until I found the courage to look within for change. I dated in High school, and that was yet another kind of distraction from the work I should have been more focused on. My mindset was “I’m never going to be in the corporate world”, so my focus again was on the learning as much hands-on stuff as I could. This mindset and thinking, was shaped by a lack of confidence in myself because of some inner turmoil that would take years of looking within to really resolve. To clarify here, I’m not saying the trades are not just as successful as other careers, I’m speaking more about my personal happiness etc. (when projecting into the future), at that time. In fact, being a Carpenter on the weekends (in later years), allowed me to work more creatively (and artistically), but the work; doing it alone… took its toll on my body after many years later, and I decided to get out of it for another more purposeful focused path (we’ll get into that coming up).

 

I was an Empath, but there was no word to describe what I was experiencing back then

 

Part of the issue I was facing at that time, was with being an Empath, and feeling things so deeply, including the energies and the challenges I saw going on all around me. I was a very sensitive kid on one hand, and very tough on another, and I couldn’t figure out what the anxiety was all about until years later (in my early to mid-twenties I started to learn about this). It would take until my mid-thirties before I was able to do some of the more in-depth inner-work through reading the many books, and listening to cassette tapes… which were so prolifically available regarding self-help etc., at that time. I started to attend spiritual, Naturopathic and ancient indigenous healing modality seminars, where I began to discover the spiritual and traditional aspects of healing.

 

 

I bought some amazing relaxation tapes there, that had a hypnotic, and mind re-programming effect on me. This is where I learned to control my negative thinking, and to learn to be in the moment, as I was finally able to accept and love myself in the process of this self-discovery. This was only the very begging for me on the self-help and spiritual journey track though, and this is something I continue to do to this very day. I keep learning more about the mind, body and spirit complex, and trying as much as I can, to back up the information I share, with science, or good anecdotal evidence whenever possible. This is something that has completely changed the way I think about life, and as a result, I’ve had much more success and happiness in my life, and in my work.

Even back then in my transition to the High School years, I was always a very intuitive person, and knew whenever someone was going to call me, and sometimes I could predict certain events, and I always could pick up on judgements and intentions, or just the general personalities of others right away. I could feel the pain of others, and always knew when someone was struggling with issues, even if on the face of it, they were smiling and laughing. I really had a hard time with socializing where the other kids were doing things that I considered wrong; like drinking and doing drugs. I was terrified of getting into trouble, or becoming part of what I felt was not in line with my inner desires. Of course, I experimented with alcohol a few times like most anyone that young, but really after the first few major times, I decide this wasn’t for me. I simply couldn’t handle any mind-altering substances in my system. I’d be physically sick, and feel the after effects for many days after those attempts at fitting in with the Joneses so to speak. I chose instead to go turn inward, and do things like exercise, work, tinkering with electronics & mechanics, science stuff (my microscope), and spending time on relationships (way too early for me in that case [I had no idea what I was doing at that age regarding relationships]).

 

I feel it was part of my purpose to experience challenging relationships

 

All of my relationships with women after that (into and throughout my adult years), were challenging, as I kept picking women from families that seemed very broken, and whom had some of the worse experiences growing up themselves, which caused some very big issues for them in interpersonal relationships. This pattern of picking people that were more like projects to fix than relationships, was a very strong subconscious thread, and looking back I realize this was for me to learn from, and to learn about my own anxieties, and Empathic traits (the traits that makes us want to fix everyone and everything in our lives). This has it’s good and bad points, but I strongly feel that this trait is there so that I do attract these kinds of challenges, as a way to advance my soul to do better with my choice points, and with realizing that I don’t need to have someone to complete my life, and that I’m 100% okay to be on my own, and aligned with my purpose, and doing my work in service to others. I was always taught by my mother, to do my best, and I see what she meant now, was that to be in service to others in all that you do, and the rest will take care of itself. And the other thing, is to keep reminding ourselves to have fun on the journey, and not worry so much about the past and the future, and the present moment is all there really is.

This challenge of being an Empath of course, was mixed in with my own insecurities, which caused me to always settle on and accepting the “project style” relationships, rather than being more selective. At the same time, I had to deal with my own anxieties, about not fitting in with what my friends were all out doing (partying, and drinking), and not seeing the power of my own individuality, talents, character, and work ethic early on. Through my investigations into looking within, and leaning some great philosophy, and interpersonal skills, I continue to this day to grow, and to share the light as much as I can. I’m definitely not perfect, but I know in my heart, that I have done a lot of work and will continue to do so indefinitely, and that this inner work more than anything, has really been a huge factor in the successes I’ve had in my life! I’m hoping to simply share my experiences (and to bring on other similar writers with the same desires) in order to help others who’ve struggled with their own anxieties, and challenges, and would like to learn how others have overcome, and manage these things on a daily basis in a very successful way. Once people sign up in the groups, I’ll be able to share more personally with “one on one” coaching there as well. Sign up now, and request your groups of interest!

 

I feel like it was part of my purpose to experience challenges with careers and jobs

 

I also kept settling on jobs in my early years, for security reasons, and I never made much change out of fear in those early years. One of the things I hated the most, was when there were big changes in my life. I think that came from… and was associated with the big change that sudden divorce brought into my life at a young age, and how I felt abandon by my father at different times after that. This experience seemed to exacerbate my anxiety into my early adulthood years. I’ve long since, come to terms with it all, and of course realize that all the adults in my life did their absolute best that they were capable of (this comes only through a mature perspective and enlightenment about the imperfect humanity in all of us).

Again, the one thing I’ve always had was a loving Mother, and a hard-working step Dad, while my Dad did the best he was capable of at that time. My relationship with my Father however, through the gift of mediumship, has been amazing; with my Father now acting as a sort of guide in my life. I don’t know what you feel about Mediums, but I have to tell you, that if you have the courage to experience it, and if you are open to the idea of receiving life changing messages, it could definitely be an incredibly healing experience. This is probably the icing on the cake for all of the work I have done looking into the mysterious, and the paranormal, and looking for the benefits of keeping an open mind, heart and soul. Listening to your heart regarding those subjects is very important, so be sure to take out the fearful mindset in your own evaluation before you make that choice. If you go absolutely closed, nothing will likely come from it.

My step Dad over most of my teen years, and throughout my adult life, has showed his love through his hard work, and putting in extra shifts… to pay for all of the expenses that this sudden vast responsibility thrust upon his life required. I learned a lot about how hard work and dedication to something pays off. He was also a Carpenter, and I learned a lot about that from him as well. With this new family dynamic however, it was definitely an intense and challenging experience for us all to find our place amongst the seeming turmoil at times. We finally did do that, and settled into an amazing family dynamic that we all enjoy today. Nothing is perfect, but through our intention as a family to love each other, we continue to make that happen now and for so many years. We are all close regardless of our differences. My mom is also an Empath I believe, and has helped so many people over her years of service (in the Church and local community), and is always making friends with everyone, and has a special affinity for the ones that need help and spiritual or emotional guidance too. I inherit my compassion, and empathy from my Mother for sure, but I have an assertive and highly motivated side as well, which at times needs to strike a balance as well. I’m constantly having to keep things in check, with balancing my motivational side, from my reflective side. It’s definitely challenging at times to be mindful, but learning to live in the moment no matter what is going on, and to keep a positive mindset is so very important for our motivation, and happiness in this life.

 

My first job out of high school

 

Anyway, immediately out of high school, my first job that summer was at a newspaper processing plant, and with collating and packing the newspapers. This was an amazingly fast paced job, and taught me some very valuable lessons and experiences early on. Even in those early years, I was very in tune with what was going on around me, and I paid close attention to the motivations, and energies of those around me. I was able to quickly identify the ones that were going to be nice, from the ones that were on an ego-based trip, to the ones that were downright mean, angry or just very sad. I could also look past some of that, and if there was a good part of that person beyond the persona they put on, I was able to see it. So, I tended to make friends a lot with people who were like that (the so called odd balls), where they had some kind of issues that caused them to have challenges with friendships. I learned to observe people from a very young age, and I always seemed to take in their emotions, and to ask questions about people, and to try to figure out what makes people tick. I wanted to know how everything worked, including people and relationships.

 

A slave like culture

 

 

In this particular job, it was a very fast-paced, and almost a slave like culture. We worked our arms to the bone… sometimes going home with many paper cuts, scrapes and chap on our forearms from the manual stack shuffling we had to do with our arms. We had to do this all over the next day for 8 hours as well. I learned to wear sleeves, even though it felt like 120 degrees in there during the summer. This is the place where I experienced so many people that were in the same kind of job for 30 or more years, doing the same thing day after day, year after year etc., and not very happy or engaging people. I realized early on, that I was not going to be happy in a job like this, and I wanted to use the training I received in high school, to begin to build a better life. I asked another younger employee why this one person I noticed, seemed so miserable and angry all the time. They told me “he’s just an old coot, who’s been in the same job for 30 years, and has no real life to speak of beyond this job.” I looked around at the people that worked there, and I saw many more faces like that, and one man in his 40s on the same path, that I knew from my own neighborhood running a fork truck like a robotic machine all day long, and with no real interpersonal contact with people. This was hard for me to think about accepting for my life long term, and I just couldn’t see myself doing this for my entire life.

 

Acceptable for some, but not for me

 

This life might have been acceptable for some of those folks, and some of them seemed to be happy doing the repetitive work, where the only contact you had with people was to yell out commands to them. When I looked at that man’s sad face every day, I could feel his personal pain, and the sadness he gave off. I never forgot his face, and the emotion I felt from a life which settled to such an extent. This man settled not to be okay with doing the same job for a lifetime, but because I feel he felt there were no other options. I wondered what his life’s choice points were, and if there were any missed opportunities in his life. He simply would not talk to anyone, not even at lunch time, and there were so many others like him, that I felt too sad being in that environment. This is not to put down a hard days work, but to say that I was in tune with how it made me feel, which is where I began my understanding of how the vibration of others can have a profound affect on us.

 

My first real long-term fulltime job

 

I promptly quit that job after only a few weeks (taking my lessons of introspection with me), and then took another job remodeling and setting up the new local hardware store, from the outside to the inside (all aspects of the store remodel, and setup). I got interested in the running and setup of this store, that I ended up applying for the trainee assistant manager position of this hardware store, which was in the local town I grew up in. This is where I could both use my experience with solving problems, and my quick ability to pick up hands on solutions for fixing just about anything in the home. I learned a lot from those around me, and quickly became one of the more sought-after employees in the region (other hardware store managers offered me jobs all the time). I was still very young, but not getting paid anywhere near enough for the work they had us doing. There were only two employees (the manager and myself) running all the operations of the entire hardware store, including management of the daily financial reports, deposits etc. I worked weekends, and basically had no social life at that time. So, I had to make a change after only a couple of years.

 

I took on this job responsibility whole heartedly though, and finally started to feel like I was making a difference in the world, by being of some kind of service to the local community. My confidence was building, but my happiness wasn’t because of the work load, and the unbalanced compensation for the responsibilities we were entrusted with. I felt over those two years, that I enjoyed the people I served in the community, but if I was to ever get married, and to have a family, that I would never get there with this kind of job. A lot of emphasis was placed on the fact that I wasn’t making enough money to live on my own, not only through my own evaluation, but from that of the woman I was dating, which I was talking about marriage with at that time. That relationship ended abruptly one summer, because of the expectations of a certain level of financial success, and this became the subconscious, and almost obsessive focus I had for the next several years. Because the women I would build relationships with in those early years, made some assumptions about my potential to earn money in the future, I started to emphasize a path of looking for more compensation, ignoring anything that had to do with my real purpose or passions. Intention wasn’t even part of my vocabulary at that time, as more money, and more hours was always the reason for doing things.

 

Dating again

 

I started to date another young woman at that time, and decided I’d better start making some real money, so I didn’t lose this relationship… because of the seeming deficit I had with making enough money to purchase my own home. I was really feeling the pressure at this time, because I really wanted to start my own family, and to have kids etc., so I needed to be successful enough financially to allow that to happen. So, I decided to get back into the work I trained for, while I was in trade school (Carpentry and home building). The pay was better, but it was still lower than the average family because of my age, and inexperience, and it took both of our incomes to even have a chance at owning a home etc. I went from not having money, to not having any work life balance, but I was able to enjoy some of my time on the weekends, when I could take some time off.

I worked 7 days a week for a couple of years (until my income and availability for working overtime increased), to save up for a house, and a wedding. We ended up getting married, owning a home and eventually two new cars, starting at the age of 22 years old until about the age of 27.

 

Laid off during the recession

 

 

I was with that job for about 5 years during my Marriage, until I got laid off because of the recession in the early 90s. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Early_1990s_recession_in_the_United_States. This layoff essentially was the breaking point of my relationship. Once I stopped producing income, and had no training for anything else at that time, I chose to collect unemployment, while I taught myself Anatomy, Biomechanics, Kinesiology, Physiology etc., so that I could try to take the test to become a personal trainer. You see this was the first time in my life, where I attempted to look within, and really align with my purpose and passions. All throughout my childhood, and into my teens, twenties and beyond, I was always into fitness, and exercise. So, I thought, why not try to become a trainer, without the expense of going to school. I took a non-traditional path out of necessity, because I simply could not afford school at that time, and there was not enough time to get a degree in anything, before I absolutely needed to head back to work for survival. I called the certification center, and asked if there were any rules against doing that, and they said technically no, but that most of their certified folks were either in school for a degree in exercise science, or had already completed an associate’s degree or Bachelor’s degree. Some were even Doctors, and Chiropractors.

 

Learning how to really teach myself some complex knowledge

 

I studied for about 6 months straight (day and night), went to New Jersey (meadowlands) to take the test, and aced the testing, and certification. This was the first time, that I knew I was a smart person, and that I could really learn and teach myself just about anything I set my mind to. In a very short time, I was able to learn all of the skills and education needed to pass a rigorous weekend long training, testing and certification. It was highly unusual according to the person I spoke with, but I wasn’t going to let that stop my motivation, and my intention to accomplish my goal. I simply went to work, applied my usual work ethic, and let God take it from there. For the next three years, I worked as a personal trainer in the fitness industry, but I quickly learned that in this same economy, which was very slow to recover over many years, that I needed to make even more money to be able to get back into a relationship, and to afford a new home again. Personal training on the east coast at that time, was something people couldn’t afford year-round, and it seemed like a very seasonal thing for most people, which made it inconsistent. It was then however, that I decided to look into more options.

 

 

I found an opportunity in the newspaper (the internet was still just developing), with a well-known company, that sold industrial supplies. This job was another very demanding job, with a lot of responsibility. I loved working with the people, and the sales aspects, as well as all of the many thousands of products that I learned about and sold. My experience at the hardware store, gave me a foot in the door with my first semi-corporate position, selling industrial supplies to industry. For the first time in my life, I wore a tie to the office, and had my own desk. I was very proud of my accomplishments, but still suffered in making enough money in this hourly paid sales position, with the economy the way it was.

 

I learned so many important life skills on this job

 

This sales job, gave me so many people skills, and so many experiences, that I still appreciate to this day. I grew as a person in so many ways, and one of those ways was with computer technology exposure. I managed as I usually did, to find pieces of software on our local computers, that allowed for inventory operations, and queries, and I started to get interested in writing small computer programs to do certain tasks relative to our inventory system etc. I spent about five years at this job, which ended up being one of the most rewarding, yet challenging jobs. I found that even there, I was still barely breaking the 30k barrier, and still was lacking in a paycheck growth, that was in line with the cost of living. During my time on this job, I went to college and learned about computer science. I was also living with a woman for several years then as well, who’s personality and past life experiences, were similar to those women that came before. I had to spend a lot of my free time trying to fix what wasn’t working in this relationship as well, and I never learned to walk away or to truly listen to my heart. Against my better judgement, I chose to get married, which only lasted about 6 months after the almost 4 years or so living together. I again attest that this was due to my Empathy, and to my own personal anxieties about being alone, that I still had left to resolve. I had no idea at that time, that this could be due to feelings of abandonment (and a desire for a connection) from earlier childhood. In hindsight and through many years of introspection, I have a clear understanding of the power of forgiveness, and the fact that we are all individuals trying to do our best in this life, and that if our hearts are focused on love, that nothing in our past, has to affect us personally for the rest of our lives.

So, to say the least, there were a lot of challenges, and a need yet again, for more money after my second divorce. It was at this point in my life, where I decided, I better really start looking within, and figure some things out. Let me take a step back here however, and talk about one of the great things that came from that relationship. For all of the people I was with, there were always some great things about those people as well, which is what kept me in some of those relationships for so long (one of them 14 years). Anyway, a true Empathic person can see to the core of a person’s soul, and through to the good that’s always there for us all (because we are all one). In this particular relationship, we used to try to look for other ways to make money, and network marketing was always a part of what we did together. She taught me about all of the lessons she was trying to learn, to help her heal her own past, and to find confidence and motivation for herself as well. She would go on to be one of the most successful people in the world of network marketing (while my interest was really not with sales specifically). This was many years after our relationship, when the inner work had a chance to really take hold for her. We did network marketing with various different companies over those years we were together, and it was through those organizations, that I started to learn all of the principles about motivation, self-love, self-confidence, forgiveness, dealing with your past etc. Who knew that organizations like this, were teaching spiritual based principles, and philosophies, that you’d never think would be part of something like network marketing, and sales. However, looking back it shows how difficult it is to do, and that it takes a very strong character, to even begin to try to do something like that. I learned so many things about myself, and my understanding of relationships, and people in general, and I grew so much during those four or so years. I would take those principles of lifelong learning (especially about all subjects on human behavior and function), with me for the rest of my life.

 

Money is still an issue

 

Although I finally had a job again, and it was consistent, I was still unable to make the amount of money I would need again, in order to get back into a house, with the housing market at that time. So, I had to set an intention to make another change, but this time I needed it to be more focused on it being something I was truly passionate about. I was having so many issues in that relationship, that I just needed to do something for myself, and get away for a week, and sort out my thoughts, and to look back at the many years that seemed to be slipping by so fast, and all the years that never seemed to ever really make any gains on my ability to make a proper living. So, I went away for a week camping, to do something that would set me on an entirely different path for the rest of my life (this is the key point here for this article). With all of the principles of philosophy I learned from these network marketing, and sales companies, I was able to put together the following program for myself. My week consisted of drawing pictures, meditating in nature, and reflecting on the past years that seemed to go by in a flash. I also had the intention to figure out what it was, that I should be doing with the rest of my life. So, I made a list of my weaknesses on the left, and my strengths on the right, and tried to see where it pointed me for an entirely new career. For the weaknesses on the left, I only focused on those items… that I felt would be worth developing and getting better at, and that supported my strengths and general interests on the right.

 

Time for the evaluation

 

 

After writing all of this down on paper, and sitting for a few days (and meditation on it [even though I didn’t’ know about mediation back then]), all of what I wrote down pointed to Art (or general creativity), Technology with computers, and with learning to code in scripting languages. I remembered in that moment, the coding I did as a child to send encoded notes to my friends, and to have them try to decipher it… if I gave them the key 😉. I remembered my ability to teach myself what I needed to learn, and I remembered all the hard work I did in life up to that moment, and my artistic creativity, that could translate well into computer user interface design, or graphics etc. It was all finally coming together, and it was only because I chose to take some time out and “wait on my path”, that this realization would ever come to fruition. I also remembered the wisdom I had gained, with reading books like “The Power of positive thinking”, “The power of Intention”, “The magic of Thinking Big”, “How to win friends and Influence People” etc. There were so many books and tapes that we would listen to about motivation, intention, vibration, momentum, purpose, and drive. With all of this evaluation, came the realization, that I needed to think about going back to school, and learning a new skill. After some time realizing I had a great ability to learn, and to do difficult things on my own, I decided to sign up for night school for several years to learn computer science. From that point on my entire life changed, and I would become a computer programmer, working with some of the largest and world-renowned organizations in Healthcare and Aviation. I even had a chance to work on in-flight navigational data, and mapping systems for the Boeing 787 program (as a consultant), which was one of the highlights of my life’s experiences. I’m very proud of how setting my intention to change what wasn’t working at various choice points, took me down an entirely different path in life, just because I took the time to wait on my path (https://www.getesoteric.com/waiting-on-the-path/). If it wasn’t for taking that time out, and really listening to my heart, and doing the early mind mapping, I might still be answering sales calls, which wasn’t my bliss at all.

 

I ended up married a second time

 

I ended up agreeing to be Married a second time however, but I kind of knew it might not last this time due to the issues that I simply could not work out with this person. I learned how to deal with very difficult interpersonal relationships, and I learned how to muster up the courage to finally walk away from what was not good for either of us at that time. This was yet another skill I learned through those books, and through those life challenges (self worth), that only enhanced my understanding of what I really wanted out of life. This also helped me learn to value myself more, and to stop letting society define what kind of home I should live in, whether or not I have kids, or what kind of car(s) I should drive. This marriage only lasted 6 months, but I don’t regret any of it… because of how the challenges of that relationship shaped my character. Without all of my life’s challenges, I wouldn’t be where I am today (nor the kind of person I am today). I also might not have been pushed to do more with looking within for answers. I was always (for so many years), looking without for approval from those I was associated with, as well as from society,  and from family. I finally at this point in my life… found my personal strength and conviction to find success, and to also find what it is that I love to do. This is then what I’ve been doing for last 20+ years of my life, and all because of a single timeout at a very important choice point (or cross roads).

 

More to come in the future about my story

 

There is so much more to my story, and this is definitely the abbreviated version of just part of my story, but I wanted to get you to the point in the example, where I hope it shows you clearly, how very important it is for us to take time out for ourselves, and to reflect on our lives, and our choices. And now it’s time for me to reevaluate yet again, what will keep me happy moving forward, and what my passions are as I head into my retirement years, in the next decade or so. My passion now is with helping others to see their own self-worth, and the amazing value there is in self-reflection. This includes all of the things I’ve learned through reading books, and through experiencing some very challenging things in my life (as many of us do). This includes lessons of self-love… and also with the forgiveness of self and others. I can honestly say, that I have no regrets with how things turned out in my life, like I had in the past. I know now, that the things in my life happened the way that they did for a reason, so that I could grow spiritually, and maybe so I could share my story with others as well. I’m hoping to be able to pass on some of the tools I learned to be come successful in my life…. with a simple focus on strong work ethic, and aligning myself with my passion and purpose. Purpose is not set in stone either as a single choice, as there are many choices, and different life purposes at various stages in our lives (it’s very fluid), but at the core of it, is always the need to align with your passion and purpose. I believe there are a set of major things we come into this life to experience and learn, and it is our duty to listen to our hearts to know if we are allowing the good things to happen. We need to think about that kid who loved to write his encrypted messages, and the joy that it gave to him, and that voice that said inside his mind that you will be working with codes for a living someday! What is your encrypted message, that you want to share to the world? Register and reply to this article (or start a thread in our discussion forums) with your response, I’d love to hear your story!

Namaste!

Rick Maki

 

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