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Are your thoughts really your own?

Are your thoughts really your own? In this video we explore the idea of how our personal, and emotional pre-programming might in fact have a negative impact on our decision making. We also discuss how these lenses, can keep us all from truly coming together. Watch, like and share today! Namaste! All images are used for educational purposes only, and follow the fair use guidelines. If you are interested in being interviewed about your spiritual, philosophical, or social ideas, please use the contact us section of our website. We are here to

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My own esoteric experiences – Part Four – The Caretaker!

The early nineties recession


In the early nineties, there was a recession, that would cause me to get laid off from my job as a home builder in the prefabricated contemporary homes industry. During this time, a friend of the family, had experienced the loss of both parents, all within months of each other. At this time, I was contemplating going back to school, or learning something new at least. The person whose parents just died, asked if we (meaning my wife at that time, and myself), would like to move into that house, and rent out our existing house, as a way to conserve funds while I figured out my next career steps. We both agreed, that this would be a great idea to pursue while we figured out my next steps.


The shrine


In this house, all of the furniture was still there, including food left in the freezer, and on the shelves going down into the basement. There were still dishes in the cabinets, pictures of the family in the main living room etc. It was a little bit weird at first, to step into this home with all of the furnishings still there, as well as the ashes of the people in the living room as well. The home had this vibe, like the people would arrive back there at any moment. My job as caretaker in the meantime, was to take care of the property; general landscaping, maintenance of the home etc. I would even at times, babysit the woman’s dog (the woman who inherited the home). I was at this time, studying exercise science, to become a fitness trainer, which I did accomplish, and was hired as a trainer during this time, as well as starting my own private business as well.


A new endeavor



With this new education, I was readying the home to take on clients at home eventually, and had setup my exercise equipment in the basement. This was all just before the winter, and I was thinking to myself how best to keep things warm down there. The home had a variety of utilities required to run everything. The home was an older ranch style home, which was kind of sprawled out and elongated, with an additional family room off of the right-hand side. The main living room (front middle), was where the sort of shrine to the owners was, and it looked like one of those rooms that was seldom used, as the furniture in that room looked like it was barely used. The “add on room” on the right-hand side of the house (when facing it), was where all of the TV and recreation time was always taking place. Behind the main living room, was the kitchen, and between the two at the end of the hall was the basement door leading down to the basement.


Too many utilities to manage



So, what that meant for utilities, was that we had all electric baseboards in the TV room, and in the other living room no one used, was a fireplace. The general furnace was an oil furnace, which could heat most of the rest of the home, but we ended up using the fireplace like the original owners did, to try to keep the utility bills down, since I was still getting back on my feet after about 8 months or so in that house (during this time I was educating myself on my new career). And to add another utility bill; the water heater ran on gas. So, we had to buy wood, pay for oil, gas and electric, and try to balance it all financially. Also, luckily in the basement, there was another wood stove, that the owner used to heat his workshop. The owner was a finish carpenter, and a very good one from what I could tell, and from what others had told me at that time.


I realized I could use the wood stove to help heat the basement, since it also helped to keep the rest of the house warm, and it also seemed to provide good heat for my own needs down there. I started to use this regularly, especially on those really cold nights. The current owner of the home, had mentioned that her parents used it to help heat the home in general, since heat rises. She said that the heat would flow up into the living space, to help keep things warm, without having to spend a lot on other utilities.


I always felt like they would come home some day


Even to this day, I still dream about this house. In my dreams, I’m in the same home living there… having this exact same feeling as when I lived there; that the owners are going to come home at any moment. Even though I never actually met the prior owners, I always felt like they were still living there, because of all of their personal property still being there, and with us actually using everything in the home while we lived there. It just still had the vibration of their spirit there, even though we logically knew they were not still living there. We did ask the owner if she could move the stuff out of the home into storage (to make it feel more like our own living space), but she preferred that she just keep It there for a while, since she didn’t want to spend extra money on storage.


Visualizing the layout of the home


So, to visualize where things were, if you were looking at the front of the house, there were two bedrooms on the left-hand side, and both were across from each other. One in the back (the master bedroom), and one in the front of the house (the second largest bedroom). The room next the bedroom in the front (just to the right of it), was the bathroom. The third bedroom was across from the bathroom, and only sufficed as a very small office. The windows were really not great, something like the windows in the picture below; but even more restrictive should someone actually need to egress from the home or something like that. Also, not much light could ever enter those windows at all, which made it quite dark in that side of the house. Only on the exact opposite side of the house, were there windows that were large enough to let in some good light. This was where the TV room was. We kept the doors shut in all of the other rooms, including the bathroom, to keep most of the heat entering our bedroom, especially since we were running the wood stove in the basement every night for most of the heat.


It was a very cold night


It was a very cold night that night, and we had been running both the fireplace upstairs, and the stove in the basement for heating the entire house. I waited up until the fire in the living room went out as I always did before going to bed. We had the glass shatter once in the living room, due to overheating it, which made us extra cautious about the upstairs fireplace. Anyway, that night I put some extra wood in the basement stove and then headed off to bed. I quickly fell asleep that night. After some time, we were both reawakened by a brilliant amber light in the hallway. It was a fairly bright amber light, and I immediately thought that the fireplace upstairs had kicked back up somehow, and the house might be on fire or something. So, I jumped out of bed, with this light in the hallway. I was sort of scared at this point, since all of the room doors were closed, and there was no way any kind of light should be on in that hallway.



I followed it down the hallway



I got my pants on in record time and began my way down the hall… when the light suddenly started to move slowly down the hallway towards the basement door. I had an instinct to follow this light, as it seemed like it was guiding me somewhere. I opened the basement door and switched on the light, and the amber light above me just seemed to vanish. I went down into the basement, and the pipes on the stove were glowing such bright red (like the pictures below [more like the brighter one]), and I was so fearful that they would catch on fire at any time. I tried to grab the damper but it was way too hot, so I grabbed a work glove and fiddled with the damper, until I got the pipes cooled down. My wife ran to the top of the stairs yelling down, “what was that light, and why are you down the basement?” I said to her, “I cannot explain the light, but the stove was almost catching on fire, and I had to adjust the damper to cool it down.” She then ran back to bed at this point.


This was kind of like the scene, but more like the pipe below in color



It was more like this color actually, and the entire pipe pretty much leading up to the insert into the chimney. 



While I was sitting there waiting for things to cool down, It dawned on me; the story my relative told me about what she thought was a spirit visitation. In her experience I described in part two of my personal stories, she described the light as an amber glowing light. Immediately I remembered that story, as well as my own similar stories relative to that kind of light. I said to myself–It must’ve been the prior owners of the house protecting us… and their home from burning down.” I’m convinced, that we could’ve died that night… had we not both been woken up by this bright amber light in the hallway.


So, at this point I go back upstairs, and couldn’t even see down the hallway, it was so dark. So, whatever it was lit my way, and guided me directly to the basement door, where I found this emergency situation in progress. I thanked God/Source that we didn’t die that night, as our lives would’ve been cut very short-since we were only about 27 years old at that time. As you can see from the pictures of the windows below, there is no way we could’ve exited those windows, as they were both too narrow (narrower even than the pictures), and they were sliders that didn’t allow for enough room even if we broke out the glass.



Thank you, spirit!


Thank you to whatever spirit or angel came to our rescue that day, but I believe it was the owners looking over us that day, as I suspect they did for the entire time we lived there in that house.

From this point on, my life took on new meaning, and these kinds of incidents would be the things I would turn to whenever I had doubts about my own life’s purpose. I have built my faith around these experiences, and I know it helps me to stay grounded each and every day of my life.

Namaste Everyone!

Rick Maki Owner and creator of

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Are these spirit orbs caught on camera?


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My own esoteric experiences – Part Three – This will open your heart!

In part one and two

In Part one, I talked about meeting with beings wearing specific gold colored garb before coming here, and in part two I mentioned a relative’s experience with an amber or gold-ish light in the hallway, as well as a possible spiritual intervention.


One of the most amazing things that has ever happened to me


Today, I want to share with you one of the most amazing things that has ever happened to me. This story will amaze some, and elicit a B.S. response from others. I share this story only for those that are open minded, and whom might have had similar experiences in their lives, in the hopes that others will come forward to share their amazing experiences as well.

This story takes place when I was about 25 years old, between Christmas, and new year’s. It was late at night (just after midnight I think), and we (my ex-wife and myself) were driving back to our home in western Massachusetts. It was a clear night, with no precipitation, and fairly light traffic. We started to approach this car in front of us. The car was a white Pontiac 6000, with a huge back window as depicted here.




This was an older all metal car (although brand new at the time), which was kind of a larger 4 door model for the time. Once we approached the car from behind on the highway, we both immediately noticed, what looked like two figures dressed in what looked like costumes, but there was something off about them. They both had very bright clothing, as if they were shimmering, and their suits were a gold-ish color, and seemed to be shimmering, glowing or something. Both a male and female figure, with bright white hair as well. It was white, but sort of translucent. It was very weird to say the least. We thought maybe reflective wigs, and costumes, from our headlights or something, but really illuminated.


We both saw four people in the car


We saw two people in the front of the car, and the two peculiar looking folks in their holiday costumes in the back. Almost as soon as we both notice those figures, in the back seat, the car jerked its wheel to the right, and then immediately to the left (as if done on purpose), and the car began flipping over and over again on the side keeping the people inside seemingly under centrifugal force. My heart is racing just reliving this scene in my mind as I type this out. I see the images in my mind clearer than I have in years.

The car came to rest on its side on the right side of the road, still on the pavement in the breakdown lane, but the road was fairly level on this spot, with no rails on the side of the road because of the grade being level, and plenty of room after the pavement, so there was no embankment.  This is roughly the spot, but it was in total darkness minus my headlights I think, but I parked a bit away from the car (behind it), so it was still hard to see as I remember it. 




I pulled over away behind the car


I pulled over away behind the car..  as it sat on the side of the road, now on it’s side with the roof facing the street, and the tires facing the shoulder. The scene is getting even more vivid in my mind as I type this (images flashing in my mind). I guess typing it out is bringing this back into my consciousness even more that it has been in the past.

Anyway, me and my ex-wife (wife at the time) both instinctively jumped out of our car, and ran to the vehicle. We could immediately smell gas, and what sounded like gas or water dripping onto the tail pipe. We were immediately concerned over the possibility of this catching on fire. I asked them if they were alert “Hey, can you hear me?”, “Are you all okay?” They responded with “we are okay!”. I said how many people are in the Car? They said “two!” … “Me and my wife!” the man said. I said No, we both saw at least four people, two in the front, and two older folks in the back. They man said “no, just me and my wife, can you help us?” I said to my wife at the same time, “they must have hit their heads and are not cognizant enough to answer properly.” Which Is likely what happened to them I thought.


We smell gas, but it’s too dark to make out what’s going on



Anyway, I immediately said, we smell gas, and feel it may ignite, and the car is sort of leaning toward the roof, but we have to do something I think. My wife kept trying to flag people down to try and help, and we both tried to push the car on the wheels sort of testing it a bit, but no go with a basic push.

The sound of the gas increasing I started to panic a bit. No one was pulling over to help, but there weren’t too many cars in the area either that late at night. Also, there was no such thing as a cellphone back then either. Still I was surprised no one stopped for the few cars that did come by. Anyway, I asked the man if his window was down on the driver’s side, and he said yes, or it was already down before the flip.

The car was exactly like this video, on its side, and ready to come over on the hood. I wasn’t sure if the weight of the car would crush them if it came on the roof, or if it was going to catch on fire or what, like I’ve always seen in the movies. Take a look at this video and the process they have to go through to get a car back stable before getting the occupants out in a normal rescue scene. So, to say the least, I wasn’t about to try climbing up there anyway, as it could cause the car to flip over on the hood. 



As you can see in this video, it takes a tow truck winch, to get a car back onto its feet, and this one is much lighter than the old all metals cars. Notice the chain let go on the first try because of the force it takes. These cables pull cars and trucks up onto flatbeds. 



Not an easy task


As you can see, it is not an easy task at all to get a car back onto its wheels after a flip like this. Anyway, so I was in this panic, and decided to try to use my strength (I was working out a lot at the time [but I’ve never been a huge person]) to try to squat the car back onto its wheels (something told me to give it a try, so I did). I told the occupants at the time, to hold on and that I would try to push it over this way if they agreed. They agreed for me to try it given the gas leak, and the risk of fire with no one there. I first asked them if there was any way they could try to climb out the other side, and they said they couldn’t get loose of the belts and were locked in because of the weight or something.  

So, I said “alright hold on then”, and I grabbed the window-well, got down into a squat position facing the car, and began to lift the car onto the edges of the wheel, and then back over and onto its wheels. I saw the occupants get thrust about inside the car a bit, which I didn’t actually think would happen. However, they seemed like they were okay, and were luckily wearing their seat-belts. I said my god, are you okay, can you get out just to be sure this car doesn’t catch a blaze? No answer at all, but they extended a hand one at a time, and both came out the same side. 


This was surreal


I was able to pull them both from the car easily, once the car came to rest back on its wheels. The car was now half on the breakdown lane, and half on the grass. We both (myself, and my ex) looked in amazement at this four-door sedan when it was on the wheels, as there really was only two occupants in the front seat, and absolutely no one in the back seat as we had both thought.

And wouldn’t you know, out of nowhere comes this cruiser after we’d all just walked away from this car to be safe, and the officer came up very slowly and asked “what happened?” I was about to answer, when the officer interrupted me, and said “um … you can go now”!



I was like “what?” “Don’t you want a witness statement?” He said NO, you can go now even more aggressively!  I’ll never forget that part, as it seemed so very odd to me.

I felt the same eerie feeling like when we both saw these strange glowing figures in the back seat of the car. Could it have been angels in the back seat, or some other kind of entities? Did the driver jerk the wheel like that because they fell asleep, or was it intentional, or was it potentially in response to those entities we saw appearing in the back seat? When I pulled the people from the car, there was no thanks, and no talking at all from either of them. That was weird too I thought,  but maybe they were both in shock. 


No time to ask questions


We had no time to even ask a question, because by the time we pulled them out, this officer shows up out of nowhere, and wouldn’t take any explanations, or ask us questions…  nor were we allowed to ask the driver any questions. So, we just left feeling like we had done all we could to help out. It wasn’t until I got home, that I realized what had just happened, and that the feat of pulling a car leaning all of its weight toward the hood, was a fairly impossible task for one person.

To this day, I have no idea what happened, or why it happened, and how I was able to muster up the strength to pull this off. I think back now to the two entities I remember seeing before I came here, and the way they looked, and immediately felt as though they were somewhat similar, although the ones in the car were more etched into my mind as to the details, and brightness of their clothing. It seemed like the same gold-ish shimmering clothing though.

Have any of you ever had experiences similar to that, if so please send me a message, or sign up and comment on my story.


Rick Maki


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My own esoteric experiences – Part Two – Who was that?

Part two of my spiritual stories



Part two of my spiritual and esoteric stories, is going to set the stage for some amazing related experiences later on in my overall story. In part one, we discussed the beginning experience, of the remembrance of before I was born. I mentioned that I was unsure if the memory was real, or if it was something I made up in my mind as a very small child. Although I cannot imagine how this definitely being part of my memory for my entire life since birth – could in any way be a fake memory. No matter the truth, this was still the single event that would stick with me for my entire life, and the thing that I’d turn to as a constant reminder that life is more amazing than it seems.


Because of this event


Because of this event, I’ve always questioned things including religion; especially the dogmatic parts of religion, while on the other hand knowing with all my heart that the philosophy behind all religions shared a common core (common logical patterns), which seem indisputable. The truth of God’s love (the all-encompassing and unconditional love I felt when being born). I never remember being in the womb by the way, which is different from many who tell this story, but I think some have that experience, and some don’t perhaps. Or maybe some remember that part and others don’t. I distinctly remember choosing almost seemingly last minute to come into this life, and was immediately born. Now onto the main story next…

At this point in my life, I think I was around 7 years old. This story starts out with a relative whom had an amazing yet “kind of scary experience (in their words).” I’ve not gotten permission to share the person’s name yet, so I’ll leave their identity silent for now.


It was late at night



It was late at night… I think around 2 or 3AM (from what I remember), and the person was asleep, and then woke up suddenly. Out in the hall was a very bright amber light, that seemed to move around as she moved. In this house, there are no windows in this small hallway where light could have come into that area directly, especially not this bright. After this experience however, it was remembered that this was also just after the death of this persons Nephew. She felt as though it was a visitation before leaving the earth, but was so scared that they ran back into their bedroom, and pulled the covers over their head. They peeked out after a few minutes, and the light was gone. An event like this only happened once in over forty years in that hall space. There is another story like this in another home this person experienced, so we’ll follow up with that one later as well.


I was told this amazing story as a child, and it blew me away



I was told this first story as a child, which was for me, the second spiritually related case, that got me thinking about the afterlife, and the amazing power we all have as spiritual beings. I grew up with a lot of anxiety in my early years, and this was in some way very comforting to me. I was always afraid of death when I was younger for some reason, so this event began to change my mind about the afterlife, and it helped me cope with my fear of death in those early years. I began to think logically about life after death, and that we might have more control over what happens to us when we die, and can decide whom we get to go visit with after death. This was more outside of the norm of what we’re taught in religion.  It seems religion sometimes treats humans as second-class citizens with no control over what happens to us when we die. This new experience for me changed my thinking on that, and was the foundation of my thoughts about spiritual liberation.


I kept this story in the back of my mind



I kept this story in the back of my mind, not knowing for sure if it was true, or just someone dreaming or something. I would later find out, that this kind of thing would happen exactly the same way, and not just in this house, but in another. We’ll get to that in one of the other articles. To understand this person’s openness to the spirit world more; this person used to be into card reading, and doing astrology etc., and from what I remember, they were pretty good at it. Later on, starting in my late teens, early twenties, whenever I would feel down, or something wasn’t working in my life, I would ask them to read my cards.

This is sort of a psychic activity as well, not just the random reading of cards. There was a part of it that Is the random reading of related information about the cards meaning, but also there were things that would come out spontaneously that seemed spot on. I found a lot of comfort in this occasional activity, even if it was true or not. I began to find interest in the process, and the idea of someone having the ability to either predict the future, or to send messages from our guides or angels. To me I felt there was purpose in the activity, as I was starting to have faith that something guides things in life… at a higher level than we consciously think about.  


My interest at this time was only on the surface



My interest at this time was only on the surface in the general sense, because I felt the person was not an actual medium, and only seemed partially psychic (more intuitive I think they call it). So, at the time, it was more of a fun exercise, and it seemed to give me some hope in times of wonder about the future. Many things did seem to come true, but also seemed a bit generalized too, so who really knows. I bring this up to assist in the visualization of the various ways I was introduced to the Esoteric world.

From these experiences, and my expressed interest in the subjects at that time, I began to question so many things in my life as I got older. I would begin to question politics, medicine, education, and found a definite interest in the stories people were telling about extraterrestrial abductions, visitations, UFO sightings, and other worldly happenings such as ghost sightings etc. This interest in the Esoteric would come gradually over time.


Taking a step back again



Anyway, to take the step back again… At about the age of 9 or 10, I had another amazing experience that would only solidify my faith in an unknown power at work in our lives. Our family was invited to an outing at a lake, with a bunch of other kids of varying ages. At that point, I was a pretty good and confident swimmer. I was the kind of kid though that always wanted to be with the adults, rather than hanging out with the kids all the time, because the conversations seemed much more interesting to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I had plenty of time to just be a kid and play, it was just that I was drawn to adults and their conversations and activities. I was always wanting to learn as much as I could about the world, and I wanted to grow up so fast. For example, if there was someone working in an area of our town digging up the streets, I was the kid there watching the entire thing for the entire day, and helping out if I could. I wanted to know how everything worked. I outlined this a bit in my article named, “The Power of intention and the story of my life”.


Back to the outing again!



So, back to the outing again! We’re all at this point, just sitting there at the dockside playing various games and messing around as kids will do. Someone asked us if we all wanted to be towed on the dock raft by the boat around the lake. We all answered of course with a resounding “yes!” They were asking some of the older kids to help with spotting, to ensure the safety of the other kids. There were two adults in the boat, one spotter and one boat operator. The operator wanted two spotters just in case. The man was operating the boat, while the woman was spotting. No one in the group of kids wanted to offer to help spot, so I begrudgingly decided to help out (even with being younger), since it was the adult thing to do. I was torn between wanting to be the adult, and wanting to be with the other kids though.

Anyway, all the kids loaded up on the raft and we tied up the boat to the raft. The raft was double the normal square raft, and was in a large rectangle shape from what I remember (probably like 16 feet long, and 8 feet wide). This raft was made of solid wood, and with old metal 55-gallon barrels on the bottom for floats. There was no way to tell the actual condition of the raft underneath, and it looked as if it was around for a while though. So, we head out into the lake, and the kids were laughing and trying to all hold on, and they looked as if they were all having so much fun.


I immediately had second thoughts


I immediately had second thoughts about being in the boat now, as the kids all looked as though they were having so much fun on the raft, and I wanted to be a part of it now. So, I started to talk with the women about wishing I had gone onto the raft instead, and that it really only takes one person to spot. She agreed! I said I could just dive off the back of the boat, and made a gesture to do it. She said yeah, yeah go ahead and do it, and I said okay, and got ready to jump of the back of the boat when the operator of the boat yelled NO! I was already committed at that point (in motion), and had dove off the back of the boat. I remember he shut the engine down just as I was jumping off the back of the boat toward the raft underwater.

I figured I would be able to come up right near the front of the raft. What happened next was so amazing. I dove into the water, and I could hear the kids yelling for me as the raft continued to move a bit from the motion, and I could hear them all at this point. I had over shot and came up directly underneath the raft, and hit my head slightly. I never hit hard enough to knock me out, but it did hit hard, and hurt a bit. In that very moment I remember trying to get my bearings under the raft, and was unable to open my eyes as usual, because I never could do that very well without it hurting too much. Also with it being a lake in New England the water was far too murky to see anything anyway. I was kind of struggling to get my bearings and seemed as though I ended up in the center of the raft.


This was way past the raft



The boat depicted here is a lot smaller, but the raft/dock was about the right size, but much older. You’d probably not get away with doing this today with all of the safety regulations. 


So at this point, I had just hit my head, and then was reaching around feeling nothing but barrels on all sides, and out of nowhere comes what felt like a huge strong arm, that pulled me about 150 feet away form the back end of the raft. This was way past the raft, and way out of dangers way. It was the most amazing feeling when this happened. I remember this like it was yesterday! I then came up out of the water (seemingly by the same force) looking for this person who just pulled me away from the raft, and up out of the water, and there was no one there at all. I kept yelling to the kids, “who pulled my out of the water?”, “c’mon – who pulled me out of the water? “All of the kids kept laughing at me, and saying you’re crazy, no one pulled you out of the water, you just came up on your own! I believe that because it was not my time, and that I’ve not accomplished the things I came here to accomplish/experience yet, that a heavenly being had intervened on my behalf in that situation, to ensure that I had a chance to live this life out more. After this happened, I began to ponder the nephew of the relative I knew, that had passed away. Had they been looking over me too, and had they been the one to save my life on this day?

I also thought, what was it that they thought I might not be able to get myself out of? Was it that one of the barrels undeath was rusted out, and would cut me (or catch me), was it that there was rope under there, that might tie me up. I wondered what It was that I needed to be saved from, and remember feeling what felt like some rusted out spots on one of the barrels, the instant that I was pulled out with such force, and so quickly. It was an indescribable power that took me out from under that raft, that I won’t forget for as long as I live.  



So, from this point on, I had a fairly open mind about the Esoteric subjects of spirits, and angels etc. I had no idea what this was, but I knew it had to be something angelic, or sent form heaven, or the other side, or whatever the other side was. I was sort of amazed and confused at the same time!

The stories will continue in part 3

Namaste Everyone!

Rick Maki

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My own esoteric experiences – Part One – The remembrance!


My own esoteric experiences – Part One


Today I wanted to share something that I’ve not shared with many people over the years. I have no idea why I still remember this, or what the purpose of this Esoteric story is, but I wanted to start out sharing one of my own personal stories today. I’ll have subsequent stores to tell, all building on each other, to share with you all. These stories will all lead to why I’ve decided to get into the Esoteric, and truth-seeking arena after all these years.

This story starts my journey of self-discovery, and faith. This particular memory has stayed with me all these years, and I’m still not 100% sure why that is. At this point I sometimes wonder if it was a true memory or not, but I have no other explanation for it. For whatever it is, it has stuck with me my entire life since birth, and it continues to have a great impact on my life and my faith.


The story goes like this


So, the story goes like this, and it starts before I was born. I remember being out in the universe somewhere; just exploring and having fun.  There was some kind of a call I remember, like a telepathic voice of some sort saying there was a need for help somewhere. I immediately set my attention to the location in need, and remembered immediately being transported there virtually in an instant. Then my memory skips to a meeting of some sort, where there were two entities standing before me, with some kind of documentation or something was being reviewed. It’s not clear in my mind the media that was used, it was more of a knowing about what the object represented than anything.


There were two entities


These two entities, as I remember, were dressed in some kind of golden suit or clothing. I can no longer make out the details in my mind, but I do remember they were shimmering gold, and sort of a glowing energy to it. This detail will be important to remember for future stories I have to share.

The documentation as I knew it, was some kind of a plan that I had to agree to. Then my memory skips again to just after I reviewed this plan (almost as if this memory lapse was on purpose while I’m living this life). I was then asked by the two entities if I agreed to this plan. I said yes. They kept asking if I was sure I was ready for this, and I said YES! I seemed very enthusiastic about it at the time.


I was born


In that very moment, I seemed to be sent through some kind of tunnel, and while I was going through it, I ended up enveloped in this amazingly brilliant white light which kept increasing in intensity. As I entered further into this light, I remember two things, one was a very high vibration, and the other was this overwhelming feeling of love. The light got so bright I couldn’t see. Then next… I remember the white light slowly going away, or at least settling down so I could make out my surroundings. I then remember being placed into the bed they had prepared in the hospital. I still remember catching a glimpse of the padding inside.

I remember that I felt as though I was very happy to be here, and looking forward to the plan I had agreed to. For whatever reason, I do not remember the plan or the reasons I chose to come here for this lifetime. So again, I’m not sure this remembrance serves any purpose, or if it was something I dreamed up as a small child, but all I can say is: I remember it to this day, and it feels as real as ever.


The beginning of my spiritual path


So, I feel this is what started my main interest in the unknown, and is the reason I tend to keep an open mind about Esoteric, or truth-seeking subjects. This remembrance gives me peace in times of struggle, and strength in times of weakness. I draw strength from this memory anytime I need to remember that there is something on the other side, and something that rises above all else, no matter how hard this life gets. What I would get into over many years because of this memory leaving me open minded, would eventually change my life and my perspective forever.

So, I will close this article here, and continue each different story in new articles, as the bigger picture builds, one on top of the other. Some seemingly more related than the others, but definitely related in some way. I have no idea if this really happened or not, but the one thing that is absolute truth, is the memory has been there for as long as I can remember.

Have any of you had similar remembrances of life before birth?


Here are a few stories I could find online. These are from this blog which was run by Dr. Wayne Dyer (the source of the info below is from this link):

My book Memories of Heaven is divided into 8 sections which beautifully evidence the existence of Heaven, Past Lives, Choosing Parents, Angel Stories and Spiritual Connections to Our Source amongst others.

Here are just a few of the thousands of stories I received from parents whose children are very much aware that they chose them.

One night at dinner, our younger foster/adopted son (he was around four years old) started talking at great length about his life “in the stars” and how he had all these brothers and sisters who lived there. He said he’d seen my husband and me from there and tried to get our attention many times but we never could see him, so he decided to be born through his mom so we could find him.

My husband and I were floored to say the least. I’d had a few miscarriages after my first son, so once my younger son told us what he’d seen, I knew his soul had been trying to come in through me even though my body was not able to do it.

– Melissa Held-Wegner
Longmont, Colorado

My son was around age four when we were playing our game of “I love you more because…”
I told him, “I love you more because…I love you beyond infinity, around the moon two times, around Mars, and touching every star on the way back to you.” Pretty great answer, right? I had him beat. Or at least I thought I did.

Very seriously, my son placed his hands on either side of my face, locked his crystal blue eyes with mine, and said, “Mommy! I love you more because I picked you while I was in heaven.”
Needless to say, he won the game.

– Shari Rightmer
Taft, California

At the age of five, my younger son announced out of the blue that he had chosen my wife and me to be his parents. Intrigued, my wife asked how he had done this. He matter-of-factly stated that while he was in heaven before he was born, he had been allowed to go through one door to pick his parents, and through another door to select his brothers and sisters. We were not churchgoers, and have no knowledge of his having obtained this idea from any external source.

– Robert J. Rinne
Orthez, France

My son constantly talks about how excited he was as a baby in my belly, waiting for me; how scared he was to come out; and how happy he was to finally see my face. I always thought he was being creative.

He had hearing problems as a child, which were remedied with a surgery. When he came out of the anesthesia, I sang to him. He grabbed my face, eyes wide, and said, “Mommy! Your voice is so beautiful! This was the voice I chose!” Again, I thought he was just telling stories, hearing other people share their experiences makes me think there was more going on than I thought, though.

– Erin Michelle Threlfall
Brooklyn, New York

When my daughter was about three years old, she mentioned in a conversation that she liked it when she was in heaven! I was a little sad that day because she had told me that she wished her daddy was home with us, like other children (we got divorced when she was a newborn).

Then she said, “But that’s okay, because I knew it would be like this.”
I asked her what she meant by that, and she answered, “Mommy, when I was in heaven, I picked you. And I knew we were going to be alone, so that’s okay. Don’t worry, Mommy, I love you so much.” That was so amazing for me to hear.

– Elsie Farfan
Henderson, Nevada

Pre Birth Agreements


If Heaven Is Real, What Are We Doing Here?





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Loving our enemies could be our salvation?

Loving our enemies could be our salvation?

Now I know that’s a very bold claim to make, and can be the most challenging thing in the world to accomplish, but hear me out on this one. Before we get into exactly how to love your enemies, there are some points I need to make that’ll set the stage with ideas of how people first identify their “so called” enemies (in many cases). There are many things that I think we can all agree on, which are simply not working out for humanity any longer. We all want change of some kind, and we are all dissatisfied with the way things are, and how society seems setup for a sort of slavery based system of debt… where many of us end up working 7 days a week until we die. One of the major symptoms of our current breakdown, is with the mounting hatred for those holding differing ideas or opinions than our own. This is mostly politically and sociologically motivated, but continually driven by our own emotions and fears.

To study human behavior only takes an intention to focus on what’s really going on around us, and does not necessarily have to come from an advanced degree in human psychology, or exclusively through the major news outlets. I believe what we are witnessing in today’s world, is the true battle between the negative and positive influences that naturally occur in this duality we call life. No matter the side you are on politically or socially, I think we can all agree, that there’s a definite breakdown on many fronts, and at the same time, there are many positive forces coming together at this time as well.


Humanity must rise above the conflict



However, to allow humanity to rise above the conflict and hatred we are seeing, will take some deep reflection, and some amazing resolve and a very strong intention to solve our social, spiritual, economic and environmental issues. We must start with honestly looking at ourselves, and our own prejudices, and we must also learn to be mindful of the energies we are sending out into the word. You must ask yourself first, “how did I form my thoughts and opinions?” Did you form them by truly listening to your own heart, or was It pre-programmed by outside sources, such as the mainstream media, and other societal systems of education? Are your thoughts really yours, or have your thoughts been spoon fed to you by a system that no longer seems to serve the greater good? This is mainly when considering things like the news, and people not feeling like they can trust media as a source of accurate information these days, without political bias on one side or the other. All is not lost however, as we have the power collectively to manifest change in all areas of our life, through meditation, and love.


This is not conspiracy theory



I’m not getting too deep into conspiracy theory here, I’m simply asking if you are true to yourself, and listening to your own heart, or are you being controlled by your own personal fears, and prejudices, perhaps based on your own past negative experiences (as well as systems of control which may be taking advantage of your current mindset). If you are really concentrating on being mindful, and really educating yourself through enough research, you will start to see more clearly… valid points on both sides of the coin regarding the issues of the day. Once you’ve done enough research on the many aspects of these issues, you have to come to the realization that there are simply things that people will never agree on. This is mainly because of a lack of education about the real issues, stubbornness, unrealistic emotional states, or simply too much anger in their hearts. I find however that it tends to be those people, who’ve not really done the hundreds if not thousands of hours of research (or with a lack of discernment capability), with the intention to truly understand the issues of the day, that end up being the ones with the most anger. This I feel is because of the sheep-follower mentality, and an inability to focus on love for their fellow man regardless of their disagreements. To love your enemies however, is definitely not an easy task, and is a difficult process for sure. I’d say you’re playing fair in the game of life, as long as you are aware of this process, and that you realize it’s important to choose to be a strong participant… not just a sheep being herded in the game of life.


The ripple effects



As with any positive thought, a negative thought is also subject to the ripple effect. We absolutely need to me mindful of the fact that we need to own our own thoughts, and try to combat the negative influences, and thoughts with the power of love and forgiveness. The power of love to affect the masses, is evident in so many areas of scientific research. Take for example this experiment to reduce crime using measurable statistics.


As you can see, there is much evidence to believe that when people come together for a common cause, that there is a sort of tipping point in the direction of the collective consciousness. This tipping point is happening on many different levels at this time, and overall this seems to be leading up to a major shift or event that would be good for us all to begin to prepare ourselves for spiritually. I won’t get into the scientific, and anecdotal details on that, as there are far too many people researching this area already, which you could easily Google for. Read the “The RA Material” law of one series for example.

No matter your belief system or faith; if this wasn’t the case, “and our souls didn’t have the power to influence the word around us”, then how do you explain the many easily repeatable experiments to the contrary?


Quantum theory and science plays a role in understanding our ability to change the collective consciousness


All we have to do is look at Quantum theory and the many experiments such as the double slit experiment, the rice experiment, and the frozen water crystals experiment, to prove that even a single thought has tremendous power to affect change on a global scale. Also, don’t forget the work of Cleve Backster and his plant experiments, to realize “even further” how connected we all are to each other, as well as with Nature itself. When I say we are all one; I’m specifically talking about “all life in this vast universe.”


Cleve Backster’s work


Back to the subject at hand

So, getting back to the theme of this article: this leads us back to this idea of loving our enemies. In order to accomplish this great task, we must first realize the shared humanity in all of us, and the fact that we are all one and not separate from each other. We cannot let our past, or our prior experiences dictate the outcome or quality of life on this planet for the collective. Nor can we allow the mass media (on all sides) to take our fears and manipulate and intensify those emotions just for ratings and profit. The more you pay attention, the more you realize this is true.


When we are truly not looking for real answers



When we are truly not investigating (through other sources other than mainstream news [like with Onstellar etc.]) and NOT really listening close to what’s being reported on the many sides of the issues in life. We do a disservice to all of humanity by taking a view that is solely based on fear and emotion, and never also including a logical analysis of the information being presented. Real truth seekers, will first consider all of the evidence before jumping to conclusions on very important issues. Some would rather believe the lies because it’s easier, or it supports their own personal or political agendas (or they simply don’t have the time to learn more). It’s much easier to settle on the default mindset, than to really be a truth seeker, and to listen to both sides of an argument. As Marin Luther King said, to love your enemies, takes compassion and love, as well as communication and listening skills. We must put aside personal prejudice, and find those areas we can build on… where most of us agree. We all want peace, love and prosperity, but we may have various ways of going about it.


Are you awake?



Anyone who is truly awakened… knows that there are forces out there in this world, that are ready to take your fear and use it against you, and to do the same on all sides of an issue, because it is profitable to do so. This is why in the news we see nothing but death, destruction and fear mongering most of the time. There are forces in this world, that have no interest in having prosperous, loving and cooperative citizens, because keeping people as debt slaves, and against each other socially, politically, educationally, or economically etc., is what allows some systems (but not all) to continue to thrive.


You don’t need to be a conspiracy theorist to know there is something wrong with this unfair system



Without digging too deeply into conspiracy theory, all you have to do is look at what the financial and corporation based industries do at times, and how they continue to take advantage of innocent people on many fronts (the sub-prime mortgage crisis, predatory lending, corporate bailouts, pollution of the environment etc.). This system of control and carelessness, will eventually crash under its own weight, as the worlds debt to these systems (where they print and loan money out of thin air), will likely never get paid back. If I remember correctly, you would have to pay back one dollar every second for 31,709 years, to pay off one trillion dollars (I may have to check that math [to be exact], but it’s a vast amount of time to pay off a trillion dollars). So even without being a conspiracy theorist, you have to know there’s something wrong with this system of debt, and that it never seems to change, and this is likely setup this way for a reason.


To whom do we really owe this debt?



Humanity is multiple-trillions of dollars in debt to the world banking system, and there are no resources backing most of this debt at all, so who do we actually owe this money too if there is no gold standard anymore? The system the way it is devised (after the gold standard was removed), is merely a smoke screen to keep everyone in debt, knowing they’ll never have enough income on average, to ever pay enough annually, in order to pay down the debt that industry and governments created in the first place. In many cases, we do not have a choice other than to participate in this unfair system, as there are few alternatives for the average person. At least that was the truth, until crypto currencies came along. However, the same global financial institutions and regulatory bodies, are quickly trying to find ways to regulate (and or tax) the use of cryptocurrencies, perhaps to discourage us from going our own way, and any attempt to do so, will still profit the existing system in some way.


It’s up to us to manifest this change and to free ourselves from this broken system. There are so many details I could cover on this topic, but like I said, that is a topic for other articles already being written out there, as I would like to focus on what we can do to get past this psychological, and sociological conditioning.


Once more people wake up




Once more people wake up to the fact that those systems act as if they are Gods that rule over us, by keeping the original American dream just out of reach from us… like a carrot in front of a horse, we’ll forever (until we die) be a slave to that system, unless we begin to manifest new systems of doing business, like with crypto currencies around the world at this time, or with contributionism. Even the OnStellar network is going to monetize outside of the existing system, as a first step in the right direction with creating their own value… outside of this complex and unfair system of debt slavery. They’ll still have to rely on the existing system for a period of time though… to extract value that can be used in exchanging bitcoins for cash to purchasing goods. Eventually however, I hope the goal is to move away from that need. It would be beneficial for us to begin to manifest some kind of replacement that’s fair for all of the players involved, where wealth is fairly distributed and is also balanced in compensation toward entertainment and escapism, when compared to other equally valued career choices.


Let’s speak out on the power of loving our enemies, instead of hating them


Now if this is the first time you’re learning how “our social systems” might actually be setup, you could be getting a bit angry right about now.


If you are still believing these institutions are perfect the way they are, then read this article from Harvard Business School, for the truth on how things can get out of hand, and how things are done to take advantage of the general public in the name of profit for a few:


Even with some things being not so great in these systems, this is exactly where we have to realize that we must love those involved in this flawed system, even those who know exactly what it represents, and then continue to participate in the system anyway. It’s like Jesus once said “forgive them Father, for they know not what they do”. Since we are all part of the same source, I believe that people get caught up in the love of power, instead of the power of love, and in other cases they were born or coerced into the negative aspects of industry…  and never really had a choice. Once the collective consciousness hits a tipping point (likely through things like mass meditations on peace), we’ll only at that point start to see some great changes in this world. This will only happen, when the majority of people have awakened from their slumber, and have also awakened from the distractions that this system has built in… to prevent us from thinking for ourselves. It’s only then that we’ll be able to regain our God given right to real freedom and prosperity, where there aren’t these systems of debt slavery anymore, and these flawed systems will eventually be replaced by systems like Ubuntu and Contributionism.


It is now time to speak out



It’s time for us all to speak out on subjects like the power of loving our enemies or those we disagree with (even the misguided industries I’m speaking of). We have to realize that some less fortunate people, have to work 7 days a week for their entire life in order to survive, and this isn’t the way life is intended to be, for anyone on this planet in my humble opinion. It’s because… for so long we’ve not collectively taken our priorities seriously and we’ve never held those industries accountable for their actions and abuses (pollution of the environment, unfair controls over society (through debt slavery), and brainwashing through the corporate owned mass media (to sway opinion in one direction or the other etc.). All you have to do is watch all of the news networks, to see that they all repeat phrases over and over again. You have to see the truth about the system being a system of control in some cases…  after watching these videos.


Check it here:

General Media repeating talking points


Liberal untruths in reporting


Conservative media repeating talking points


Keep in mind that Google and YouTube appear (by many) to be liberal leaning companies… removing much of the opposing content that goes against their views (or for whatever they consider fake news). No political party or ideology (liberal or conservative) is inherently evil; it’s only the use of politics and power to help control the thinking of the masses that are at issue. So, it can be hard to get a true picture of societies views through services like social media, search engines, or video repositories as well. Since the company’s owners have the power to arbitrarily decide what is or is not considered real or valuable content. It’s their right to do what they want with their companies, but it is also our duty to pay attention and use our own discernment when consuming their products and services, so as to not fall into sheep mentality. These are all reasons people thrive more, when they do their own research, and when they focus on what we can all do together, rather than focusing on the Circus of misinformation out there on all the various sides. We have to begin looking within more for our own truth, rather than relying on any mainstream TV and social media entities, as in many cases they seem inconsistent, unreliable, or deceiving. The one place that cannot lie to you is your own inner guidance; especially through a strong meditation and spiritual practice, where you are able to remove any preprogrammed prejudices, and look only at the problem from a clean perspective.  


FCC Chair Says Twitter and YouTube’s Political Biases Are the Real Threat to an Open Internet


To see the unfair game in play



To see the unfair game in play, all we have to do is think about how our educators in general get paid so much less than our athletes, as if being an athlete playing a game is more important than educating humanity. I’ve never seen the average educator getting the millions of dollars sports players receive, which shows a definite bias towards entertainment. The movie industry seems to be the same way, but we all go along with it… saying there is nothing we can do. There is something we can do, and that is to come together and meditate for change, and for the truth to set us free from having to take sides, in a game that “we the people” never setup to begin with. It’s time to open your minds to the possibility of these social control structures are put in place to keep your mind from expanding. If the system can keep you entertained, and promote escapism instead of real living, they’ll forever have you under their spell, and at each other’s throats. We cannot let any system dictate to us how we’ll live moving forward in this life, and we must take charge of this life through finding the areas we can all come together on, and to find ways to love each other in the process.   


In a free country


In a free country… we’re all allowed to do whatever we want as a society with our own businesses and systems, but you have to ask yourself “what is right and just?”, and then we need to begin to reevaluate what we’re spending our extra resources on. These activities (movies, TV and Sports) don’t particularly add value beyond entertainment and escape… if we are really honest with ourselves. These things are great in some sense (I’m surely not suggesting they are bad on their own), as for example… a movie can teach someone valuable life lessons at times, and sports can teach valuable teamwork principles, and we do need to escape and relax at times as well. However, we also need to be mindful of the programs that are out there which seldom get the help and resources they deserve (especially for the value they hold in society). If people took a more mindful approach to distributing resources, they’d see more opportunities to make a greater impact on humanity through “balanced and fair spending.” This way of being mindful also has a positive ripple effect, and can have a great impact on society… if done long enough to hit that tipping point of accepting new standards of living for everyone, over accepting the careless imbalance that currently exists.


The need to think about our choices


I bring up points like this to illustrate how intentionally thinking about our choices, and where our opinions really come from, can have a greater impact on bringing us all together on the issues that matter the most. So, I feel it’s imperative to begin to ask yourself if you are living a mindful life, or living life on auto pilot (as part of a lifetime of systematic pre-programming), with no intention on evaluating how you use resources, or how you make decisions politically or otherwise. Are you operating solely on emotion, fear and anger, or are you shifting more towards wanting to actually look for real solutions to problems. If all we do is finger pointing, and say this person is bad, or that person is bad – even if they are, nothing gets solved, and nothing will ever change in the way it needs to. Change only comes through love, understanding, forgiveness, good communication and common goals… like Jesus, and Martin Luther King said for example.


Supporting articles and speeches


This leads me to some additional supporting articles, and speeches. The first one being an article talking about how anger and fear are related, and then this section goes on to present Martin Luther King’s view on not only the bibles rendition of the power of love, and loving your enemies, but also the power of love in general. Maybe you can stop this article here, and read and listen to this material, and I’ll meet you on the other side again to finish up the conversation.


In psychology anger usually is fairly equal to that of insecurity, and fear.

Masks of Anger: The Fears That Your Anger May Be Hiding

As you can see from the above article, there are many things that can bring about our fears, and sometimes fear and anger is a motivator for us to take action. However, we must not live in that mindset of anger for so long, as it’s very destructive to the health of our collective consciousness. The collective mindset starts with you, and how much work you are doing on yourself to help humanity evolve as a whole through the ripple effect, is very important.


Famous Quote from Loving Your Enemies

(The source for this info is from

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. “

    – Martin Luther King



This quote went “viral” on the internet, after the killing of Osama Bin Laden by the US government. While the mainstream news hailed the killing and many people celebrated the killing as a victory and even danced in the street, many others including myself agreed with Dr. King, feeling that no death should ever be celebrated and that responding to violence with violence will never solve our world’s problems, but as Mahatma Gandhi, one of Dr. King’s primary sources of inspiration said, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”.


 Loving your enemies – The full speech:




Jesus on loving your enemies:



Matthew 5:44 is the 44th verse of the fifth chapter of the Gospel of Matthew in the New Testament and is part of the Sermon on the Mount. This is the second verse of the final antithesis, that on the commandment to Love thy neighbor as thyself. Jesus has just stated that some had taught that one should “hate your enemies” and in this verse, he rejects this view.


In the King James Version of the Bible the text reads:


But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; [1]


After listening to that speech by Martin Luther King, one has to come to the determination, that the only way to lasting peace is through the hearts of those that we disagree with, or those that we consider our enemy or those whom might have devised systems of control and either wittingly or unwittingly participate in the continuation of those systems. 

When we make a real effort to see in everyone the same spark of life that created the entire universe, we can begin to hold a calmer and more positive mindset, which will allow people to come together and solve the major issues in life. If we can listen to the pain of those around us, without expressing hatred, and without violence, we can all work towards a new world of prosperity within a system of fairness for all of its citizens like with Ubuntu.





If we are to believe that the best way forward is to love our enemies, and that this can be the salvation of mankind, and is also the solution to all of our problems in the world, then we must get busy looking within for real answers. Take yourself out of your conscious mind, and into a subconscious state of mind, where the energy of God flows freely through all of the creatures in the universe. Know that the only perfect solution to all problems in this world, are with love and forgiveness. Anytime we hold hatred for another, we begin a ripple effect that basically negates any of the good we started off doing, when we keep our vibrational frequencies low, thus attracting more of what we don’t want in this life. This doesn’t mean that we have to associate with those that are doing things we disagree with, but it does mean that we need to at least consider the good that exists in everyone, and give that a chance to grow and flourish, through holding the same mindset that Jesus did, when he forgave his persecutors while he was dying on the cross. If we can see the humanity in others, and focus on the good, and the areas we all agree on, and build from there, we can really make some amazing advancements as a species through the knowledge that we are all one. Not everyone will eventually come along, but holding this general mindset opens up opportunities for resolutions.

Let’s take this life to the next level together, and always remember the opportunity we have with our ability to transform our enemies into our friends! This can only happen through love, and an intention to resolve what’s not working together as a team!

Namaste Everyone!

Rick Maki


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The power of intention and free will, and the story of my life!


The power of intention and fee will, and the story of my life!


The power of intention and free will, has huge implications for your life, and for the next path you choose to be on, for your personal journey.

I’d like to share a personal story as an example of how true this actually is. The truth about being mindful of all decisions we make is such an important factor. If you can stick in there for this long dialog, I assure you, there are a few gems as my story progresses.


The baseline


As a baseline, let’s say my childhood was generally great, but there were definitely some things I had to deal with like divorced parents, and some unsettling years as a result. At that time, I dealt with a lot of anxiety, and other social issues of insecurity etc., for this and many other reasons. This struggle would however shape my character, and teach me some very important lessons about my life, relationships, and eventually my career choices, and personal interests. The one person in my life I could always count on, was my Mother, and her faith and strength, with what I saw her endure. Since the subject of this topic is geared more towards a particular example, I’ll have to skip some of the details to stay on topic for this article.

Because of the many complications and distractions in my life while I was young, I lacked a certain focus on exactly being able to identify my talents, my skills, and my purpose. My family was a very busy one, and with me being the oldest sibling, I feel some direction might have been overlooked (that’s just life sometimes). From my current perspective however, I feel that this was for a reason, and for a purpose that later would propel me on a path that was far more interesting, than if I had just randomly chosen what people consider a “successful career” from the very beginning.


My Journey into the working world


My Journey in the working world started with a few different kinds of jobs, starting with a Paper route, that I would begin at 4:30am or 5am in the morning, whenever the papers arrived in the summer months. I was in Junior Highschool at that time. I learned that if I was up on time every day, and got the paper to people’s homes on time (especially on the weekends), that people would reward my hard work with a tip in a white envelope taped to the front door, usually behind a screen door. This is how we did it in our small town growing up.

My route was a typical few hours run in the am, and was grueling on foot. I was not able to manage a bike and the heavy bag, as my bike was too small (and so was I…lol), so I had to walk the entire route. Other jobs I had were at home, like shoveling snow in the winter, and cutting grass in the summer. I learned that to do a good job, rewarded me with compliments, pride, and sometimes an allowance.

Then through a friend’s recommendation, I began to work weekly, at a very well-known convenience, store, that was more like a small grocery store, with a full butcher shop. I worked behind the butcher shop, cutting meat, making sausages, stocking shelves, and cleaning up after hours. This is where I really began to learn the pride in helping others, and with serving the community. I got to know lots of customers on a first name basis, and some of the most interesting and sometimes quirky characters that lived in my small town.

I seemed to enjoy doing a good job, and working with people, and I became kind of a perfectionist in everything I would do growing up as a teenager. At least with the things I liked doing!


Learning to teach myself


I taught myself a lot of scientific, and mechanical skills as a young man (starting in my preteen years), to the point where I could fix cars, electronics like record players, radios, and early hand held electronic games (e.g. replacing bad resisters, and capacitors due to a power surge, or replacing electronic switches etc.). I learned about electronics with my 160 in one electronics project kit.



I pretty much took every electronic or mechanical appliance apart etc., and put it all back together… just to see how it works. I’d almost always get things back together correctly, and working again. These early childhood experiences, would shape my interest in problem solving, and logical thinking. One of the things I used to do, was look into the back of magazines, and try to see the latest gadgets to send away for, or the latest ideas. This is where I started my interest in fitness as well, with the Charles Atlas dynamic tension program.




One of the magazines I used to get was “Ranger Rick”, and inside that magazine, was an article about a secret coding language, you could use to send and share secret messages with your friends.



This secret language of symbols, for whatever reason really drew me in. I remember to this day, that some voice inside me said, that I would be working with codes in my lifetime. I remember it like it was yesterday, like a real inner knowing about codes or symbols of some sort. I don’t recall anyone even talking about computers at that time in the late 70s early 80s in my family at least. Anyway… I believe these codes were something I could use right from the magazine, a sort of mapping from the original letter in the alphabet, to the equivalent replacement symbol. Something like this, but it had cooler symbols, and an offset tactic.



I remember there was an offset applied however, of a random number you had to choose (and what to do with overflow offsets), before you knew what the exact offset to the actual letter mapping would be (this was the secret key). Long story short, I was hooked on the idea of sharing hand written messages to my friends that only I and they could read. From there, I was introduced to calligraphy (and font types), and I started to draw with a calligraphy pen, because I thought it was so awesome looking to write like that. My normal handwriting was horrible, but I ended up doing pretty well with the calligraphy if I took my time. I considered it my first exposure to art, and the fact that I had the ability to do “copy art” at the very least.


My artistic side


From that, I took any magazine I could find, and started to copy images from the magazine, like the cigarette ads etc.I tried to make my version of the ad in black/gray and white… with my number two pencil, and a sketch pad. I began to take any pictures I could find, and started adding color pencil, and drawing things like the Bird of Paradise. From this process, I gained a real appreciation for the beauty of nature, through the images of our encyclopedia collection. Man, I seemed to just have a knack for art, but again couldn’t write a sentence for the life of me that anyone could read :-D! I’m still in junior high at this time, learning and exploring my talents, but later forgetting about them all. We’ll get to that in a minute.



So, then my high school years came along, and I had more challenges with anxiety appearing, requiring me to start trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life; albeit unsuccessfully at that time. Those early years were very challenging for me, as I really was not following any of the things that were actually in my heart. First it started off with a choice I had to make, to either go to a new school which was a 40-minute drive away, which was a trade school (a very new concept in our area at that time), or stick with my home town school. Going to trade school, was not what most of my friends in my small town, decided to do. The kids I grew up with – that I knew well, all stayed behind, except my best friend, who was a year behind me in school, so we never shared the same classes when we were in high school (we hung out weekends and summers mostly). As with anyone’s experiences with High school, there were many challenges to begin with, but this was an extra challenge not having grown up with most of the kids at this school. Since I made the choice to go to a trade school, I was suddenly expected to explore several career choices, and then in my second-year pick something permanent (I chose Carpentry as my major study). I was very good with my hands, and got good grades in my shop classes, while my academics suffered for various reasons.


Focusing my attention on the trades



I chose to focus my attention more on my shop responsibilities, and mixed in with some rebelliousness against the system of learning (for various reasons [some of which I felt were legitimate]), I was still able to manage to pass each year in school. Some years and subjects better than others let’s say. Because of the many challenges I faced in those early years with emotions and anxiety, I was never focused back on my own talents and abilities, and motivations. I had no idea about personal purpose, but I always had a drive for the subjects I liked, and a good work Ethic for the hands-on stuff. Anything to do with Math, and Science I loved, but not so much with history and other subjects I was less interested in. A negative attitude from perceived bad experiences (again this was a young teenager’s view), was part of the problem with my ability to find a more focused motivation, and to figure out the value of Education. I really thought the only way to learn was to give into the system of learning that society thinks… is the only way. I’ve since discovered that there are various types of intelligences (and brain specialties), and many different ways to teach yourself outside of the typical societal system. I learned that through reading books like “The Brain that Changes itself”, where the brain can adapt to various types of learning, and that deficits in even extreme cases can be corrected in very amazing ways, through intention, and motivation to adapt. I became fascinated with how the brain works, and how spiritual philosophies seemed to tie into that science.


I learned that many great people, found their way, and learned their talents and skills later in life, and that’s definitely been more than a successful approach for me. Once you learn about your own self-worth, motivation and purpose, things become much easier, and great things can happen with just managing attitude, and intention. Some of the greatest minds who never relied on the current system (which is by the way one of the best ways to learn), are some of the most successful people to have ever lived. That’s an easy one to Google so I won’t bother with listing a bunch of names like Sir Richard Branson for example, or Steve Jobs. The point being, to not limit yourself because of what others perceive is the only way to educate one’s self. There are far more ways to learn that just that, and success is based more on drive and intention, than any other factors of learning.


That sets the stage


Anyway, that “kind of” sets the stage for the rest of my life’s experiences, with trying different things, but never truly being happy, and settling for jobs and relationships out of a perceived sense of security… until I found the courage to look within for change. I dated in High school, and that was yet another kind of distraction from the work I should have been more focused on. My mindset was “I’m never going to be in the corporate world”, so my focus again was on the learning as much hands-on stuff as I could. This mindset and thinking, was shaped by a lack of confidence in myself because of some inner turmoil that would take years of looking within to really resolve. To clarify here, I’m not saying the trades are not just as successful as other careers, I’m speaking more about my personal happiness etc. (when projecting into the future), at that time. In fact, being a Carpenter on the weekends (in later years), allowed me to work more creatively (and artistically), but the work; doing it alone… took its toll on my body after many years later, and I decided to get out of it for another more purposeful focused path (we’ll get into that coming up).


I was an Empath, but there was no word to describe what I was experiencing back then


Part of the issue I was facing at that time, was with being an Empath, and feeling things so deeply, including the energies and the challenges I saw going on all around me. I was a very sensitive kid on one hand, and very tough on another, and I couldn’t figure out what the anxiety was all about until years later (in my early to mid-twenties I started to learn about this). It would take until my mid-thirties before I was able to do some of the more in-depth inner-work through reading the many books, and listening to cassette tapes… which were so prolifically available regarding self-help etc., at that time. I started to attend spiritual, Naturopathic and ancient indigenous healing modality seminars, where I began to discover the spiritual and traditional aspects of healing.



I bought some amazing relaxation tapes there, that had a hypnotic, and mind re-programming effect on me. This is where I learned to control my negative thinking, and to learn to be in the moment, as I was finally able to accept and love myself in the process of this self-discovery. This was only the very begging for me on the self-help and spiritual journey track though, and this is something I continue to do to this very day. I keep learning more about the mind, body and spirit complex, and trying as much as I can, to back up the information I share, with science, or good anecdotal evidence whenever possible. This is something that has completely changed the way I think about life, and as a result, I’ve had much more success and happiness in my life, and in my work.

Even back then in my transition to the High School years, I was always a very intuitive person, and knew whenever someone was going to call me, and sometimes I could predict certain events, and I always could pick up on judgements and intentions, or just the general personalities of others right away. I could feel the pain of others, and always knew when someone was struggling with issues, even if on the face of it, they were smiling and laughing. I really had a hard time with socializing where the other kids were doing things that I considered wrong; like drinking and doing drugs. I was terrified of getting into trouble, or becoming part of what I felt was not in line with my inner desires. Of course, I experimented with alcohol a few times like most anyone that young, but really after the first few major times, I decide this wasn’t for me. I simply couldn’t handle any mind-altering substances in my system. I’d be physically sick, and feel the after effects for many days after those attempts at fitting in with the Joneses so to speak. I chose instead to go turn inward, and do things like exercise, work, tinkering with electronics & mechanics, science stuff (my microscope), and spending time on relationships (way too early for me in that case [I had no idea what I was doing at that age regarding relationships]).


I feel it was part of my purpose to experience challenging relationships


All of my relationships with women after that (into and throughout my adult years), were challenging, as I kept picking women from families that seemed very broken, and whom had some of the worse experiences growing up themselves, which caused some very big issues for them in interpersonal relationships. This pattern of picking people that were more like projects to fix than relationships, was a very strong subconscious thread, and looking back I realize this was for me to learn from, and to learn about my own anxieties, and Empathic traits (the traits that makes us want to fix everyone and everything in our lives). This has it’s good and bad points, but I strongly feel that this trait is there so that I do attract these kinds of challenges, as a way to advance my soul to do better with my choice points, and with realizing that I don’t need to have someone to complete my life, and that I’m 100% okay to be on my own, and aligned with my purpose, and doing my work in service to others. I was always taught by my mother, to do my best, and I see what she meant now, was that to be in service to others in all that you do, and the rest will take care of itself. And the other thing, is to keep reminding ourselves to have fun on the journey, and not worry so much about the past and the future, and the present moment is all there really is.

This challenge of being an Empath of course, was mixed in with my own insecurities, which caused me to always settle on and accepting the “project style” relationships, rather than being more selective. At the same time, I had to deal with my own anxieties, about not fitting in with what my friends were all out doing (partying, and drinking), and not seeing the power of my own individuality, talents, character, and work ethic early on. Through my investigations into looking within, and leaning some great philosophy, and interpersonal skills, I continue to this day to grow, and to share the light as much as I can. I’m definitely not perfect, but I know in my heart, that I have done a lot of work and will continue to do so indefinitely, and that this inner work more than anything, has really been a huge factor in the successes I’ve had in my life! I’m hoping to simply share my experiences (and to bring on other similar writers with the same desires) in order to help others who’ve struggled with their own anxieties, and challenges, and would like to learn how others have overcome, and manage these things on a daily basis in a very successful way. Once people sign up in the groups, I’ll be able to share more personally with “one on one” coaching there as well. Sign up now, and request your groups of interest!


I feel like it was part of my purpose to experience challenges with careers and jobs


I also kept settling on jobs in my early years, for security reasons, and I never made much change out of fear in those early years. One of the things I hated the most, was when there were big changes in my life. I think that came from… and was associated with the big change that sudden divorce brought into my life at a young age, and how I felt abandon by my father at different times after that. This experience seemed to exacerbate my anxiety into my early adulthood years. I’ve long since, come to terms with it all, and of course realize that all the adults in my life did their absolute best that they were capable of (this comes only through a mature perspective and enlightenment about the imperfect humanity in all of us).

Again, the one thing I’ve always had was a loving Mother, and a hard-working step Dad, while my Dad did the best he was capable of at that time. My relationship with my Father however, through the gift of mediumship, has been amazing; with my Father now acting as a sort of guide in my life. I don’t know what you feel about Mediums, but I have to tell you, that if you have the courage to experience it, and if you are open to the idea of receiving life changing messages, it could definitely be an incredibly healing experience. This is probably the icing on the cake for all of the work I have done looking into the mysterious, and the paranormal, and looking for the benefits of keeping an open mind, heart and soul. Listening to your heart regarding those subjects is very important, so be sure to take out the fearful mindset in your own evaluation before you make that choice. If you go absolutely closed, nothing will likely come from it.

My step Dad over most of my teen years, and throughout my adult life, has showed his love through his hard work, and putting in extra shifts… to pay for all of the expenses that this sudden vast responsibility thrust upon his life required. I learned a lot about how hard work and dedication to something pays off. He was also a Carpenter, and I learned a lot about that from him as well. With this new family dynamic however, it was definitely an intense and challenging experience for us all to find our place amongst the seeming turmoil at times. We finally did do that, and settled into an amazing family dynamic that we all enjoy today. Nothing is perfect, but through our intention as a family to love each other, we continue to make that happen now and for so many years. We are all close regardless of our differences. My mom is also an Empath I believe, and has helped so many people over her years of service (in the Church and local community), and is always making friends with everyone, and has a special affinity for the ones that need help and spiritual or emotional guidance too. I inherit my compassion, and empathy from my Mother for sure, but I have an assertive and highly motivated side as well, which at times needs to strike a balance as well. I’m constantly having to keep things in check, with balancing my motivational side, from my reflective side. It’s definitely challenging at times to be mindful, but learning to live in the moment no matter what is going on, and to keep a positive mindset is so very important for our motivation, and happiness in this life.


My first job out of high school


Anyway, immediately out of high school, my first job that summer was at a newspaper processing plant, and with collating and packing the newspapers. This was an amazingly fast paced job, and taught me some very valuable lessons and experiences early on. Even in those early years, I was very in tune with what was going on around me, and I paid close attention to the motivations, and energies of those around me. I was able to quickly identify the ones that were going to be nice, from the ones that were on an ego-based trip, to the ones that were downright mean, angry or just very sad. I could also look past some of that, and if there was a good part of that person beyond the persona they put on, I was able to see it. So, I tended to make friends a lot with people who were like that (the so called odd balls), where they had some kind of issues that caused them to have challenges with friendships. I learned to observe people from a very young age, and I always seemed to take in their emotions, and to ask questions about people, and to try to figure out what makes people tick. I wanted to know how everything worked, including people and relationships.


A slave like culture



In this particular job, it was a very fast-paced, and almost a slave like culture. We worked our arms to the bone… sometimes going home with many paper cuts, scrapes and chap on our forearms from the manual stack shuffling we had to do with our arms. We had to do this all over the next day for 8 hours as well. I learned to wear sleeves, even though it felt like 120 degrees in there during the summer. This is the place where I experienced so many people that were in the same kind of job for 30 or more years, doing the same thing day after day, year after year etc., and not very happy or engaging people. I realized early on, that I was not going to be happy in a job like this, and I wanted to use the training I received in high school, to begin to build a better life. I asked another younger employee why this one person I noticed, seemed so miserable and angry all the time. They told me “he’s just an old coot, who’s been in the same job for 30 years, and has no real life to speak of beyond this job.” I looked around at the people that worked there, and I saw many more faces like that, and one man in his 40s on the same path, that I knew from my own neighborhood running a fork truck like a robotic machine all day long, and with no real interpersonal contact with people. This was hard for me to think about accepting for my life long term, and I just couldn’t see myself doing this for my entire life.


Acceptable for some, but not for me


This life might have been acceptable for some of those folks, and some of them seemed to be happy doing the repetitive work, where the only contact you had with people was to yell out commands to them. When I looked at that man’s sad face every day, I could feel his personal pain, and the sadness he gave off. I never forgot his face, and the emotion I felt from a life which settled to such an extent. This man settled not to be okay with doing the same job for a lifetime, but because I feel he felt there were no other options. I wondered what his life’s choice points were, and if there were any missed opportunities in his life. He simply would not talk to anyone, not even at lunch time, and there were so many others like him, that I felt too sad being in that environment. This is not to put down a hard days work, but to say that I was in tune with how it made me feel, which is where I began my understanding of how the vibration of others can have a profound affect on us.


My first real long-term fulltime job


I promptly quit that job after only a few weeks (taking my lessons of introspection with me), and then took another job remodeling and setting up the new local hardware store, from the outside to the inside (all aspects of the store remodel, and setup). I got interested in the running and setup of this store, that I ended up applying for the trainee assistant manager position of this hardware store, which was in the local town I grew up in. This is where I could both use my experience with solving problems, and my quick ability to pick up hands on solutions for fixing just about anything in the home. I learned a lot from those around me, and quickly became one of the more sought-after employees in the region (other hardware store managers offered me jobs all the time). I was still very young, but not getting paid anywhere near enough for the work they had us doing. There were only two employees (the manager and myself) running all the operations of the entire hardware store, including management of the daily financial reports, deposits etc. I worked weekends, and basically had no social life at that time. So, I had to make a change after only a couple of years.


I took on this job responsibility whole heartedly though, and finally started to feel like I was making a difference in the world, by being of some kind of service to the local community. My confidence was building, but my happiness wasn’t because of the work load, and the unbalanced compensation for the responsibilities we were entrusted with. I felt over those two years, that I enjoyed the people I served in the community, but if I was to ever get married, and to have a family, that I would never get there with this kind of job. A lot of emphasis was placed on the fact that I wasn’t making enough money to live on my own, not only through my own evaluation, but from that of the woman I was dating, which I was talking about marriage with at that time. That relationship ended abruptly one summer, because of the expectations of a certain level of financial success, and this became the subconscious, and almost obsessive focus I had for the next several years. Because the women I would build relationships with in those early years, made some assumptions about my potential to earn money in the future, I started to emphasize a path of looking for more compensation, ignoring anything that had to do with my real purpose or passions. Intention wasn’t even part of my vocabulary at that time, as more money, and more hours was always the reason for doing things.


Dating again


I started to date another young woman at that time, and decided I’d better start making some real money, so I didn’t lose this relationship… because of the seeming deficit I had with making enough money to purchase my own home. I was really feeling the pressure at this time, because I really wanted to start my own family, and to have kids etc., so I needed to be successful enough financially to allow that to happen. So, I decided to get back into the work I trained for, while I was in trade school (Carpentry and home building). The pay was better, but it was still lower than the average family because of my age, and inexperience, and it took both of our incomes to even have a chance at owning a home etc. I went from not having money, to not having any work life balance, but I was able to enjoy some of my time on the weekends, when I could take some time off.

I worked 7 days a week for a couple of years (until my income and availability for working overtime increased), to save up for a house, and a wedding. We ended up getting married, owning a home and eventually two new cars, starting at the age of 22 years old until about the age of 27.


Laid off during the recession



I was with that job for about 5 years during my Marriage, until I got laid off because of the recession in the early 90s. This layoff essentially was the breaking point of my relationship. Once I stopped producing income, and had no training for anything else at that time, I chose to collect unemployment, while I taught myself Anatomy, Biomechanics, Kinesiology, Physiology etc., so that I could try to take the test to become a personal trainer. You see this was the first time in my life, where I attempted to look within, and really align with my purpose and passions. All throughout my childhood, and into my teens, twenties and beyond, I was always into fitness, and exercise. So, I thought, why not try to become a trainer, without the expense of going to school. I took a non-traditional path out of necessity, because I simply could not afford school at that time, and there was not enough time to get a degree in anything, before I absolutely needed to head back to work for survival. I called the certification center, and asked if there were any rules against doing that, and they said technically no, but that most of their certified folks were either in school for a degree in exercise science, or had already completed an associate’s degree or Bachelor’s degree. Some were even Doctors, and Chiropractors.


Learning how to really teach myself some complex knowledge


I studied for about 6 months straight (day and night), went to New Jersey (meadowlands) to take the test, and aced the testing, and certification. This was the first time, that I knew I was a smart person, and that I could really learn and teach myself just about anything I set my mind to. In a very short time, I was able to learn all of the skills and education needed to pass a rigorous weekend long training, testing and certification. It was highly unusual according to the person I spoke with, but I wasn’t going to let that stop my motivation, and my intention to accomplish my goal. I simply went to work, applied my usual work ethic, and let God take it from there. For the next three years, I worked as a personal trainer in the fitness industry, but I quickly learned that in this same economy, which was very slow to recover over many years, that I needed to make even more money to be able to get back into a relationship, and to afford a new home again. Personal training on the east coast at that time, was something people couldn’t afford year-round, and it seemed like a very seasonal thing for most people, which made it inconsistent. It was then however, that I decided to look into more options.



I found an opportunity in the newspaper (the internet was still just developing), with a well-known company, that sold industrial supplies. This job was another very demanding job, with a lot of responsibility. I loved working with the people, and the sales aspects, as well as all of the many thousands of products that I learned about and sold. My experience at the hardware store, gave me a foot in the door with my first semi-corporate position, selling industrial supplies to industry. For the first time in my life, I wore a tie to the office, and had my own desk. I was very proud of my accomplishments, but still suffered in making enough money in this hourly paid sales position, with the economy the way it was.


I learned so many important life skills on this job


This sales job, gave me so many people skills, and so many experiences, that I still appreciate to this day. I grew as a person in so many ways, and one of those ways was with computer technology exposure. I managed as I usually did, to find pieces of software on our local computers, that allowed for inventory operations, and queries, and I started to get interested in writing small computer programs to do certain tasks relative to our inventory system etc. I spent about five years at this job, which ended up being one of the most rewarding, yet challenging jobs. I found that even there, I was still barely breaking the 30k barrier, and still was lacking in a paycheck growth, that was in line with the cost of living. During my time on this job, I went to college and learned about computer science. I was also living with a woman for several years then as well, who’s personality and past life experiences, were similar to those women that came before. I had to spend a lot of my free time trying to fix what wasn’t working in this relationship as well, and I never learned to walk away or to truly listen to my heart. Against my better judgement, I chose to get married, which only lasted about 6 months after the almost 4 years or so living together. I again attest that this was due to my Empathy, and to my own personal anxieties about being alone, that I still had left to resolve. I had no idea at that time, that this could be due to feelings of abandonment (and a desire for a connection) from earlier childhood. In hindsight and through many years of introspection, I have a clear understanding of the power of forgiveness, and the fact that we are all individuals trying to do our best in this life, and that if our hearts are focused on love, that nothing in our past, has to affect us personally for the rest of our lives.

So, to say the least, there were a lot of challenges, and a need yet again, for more money after my second divorce. It was at this point in my life, where I decided, I better really start looking within, and figure some things out. Let me take a step back here however, and talk about one of the great things that came from that relationship. For all of the people I was with, there were always some great things about those people as well, which is what kept me in some of those relationships for so long (one of them 14 years). Anyway, a true Empathic person can see to the core of a person’s soul, and through to the good that’s always there for us all (because we are all one). In this particular relationship, we used to try to look for other ways to make money, and network marketing was always a part of what we did together. She taught me about all of the lessons she was trying to learn, to help her heal her own past, and to find confidence and motivation for herself as well. She would go on to be one of the most successful people in the world of network marketing (while my interest was really not with sales specifically). This was many years after our relationship, when the inner work had a chance to really take hold for her. We did network marketing with various different companies over those years we were together, and it was through those organizations, that I started to learn all of the principles about motivation, self-love, self-confidence, forgiveness, dealing with your past etc. Who knew that organizations like this, were teaching spiritual based principles, and philosophies, that you’d never think would be part of something like network marketing, and sales. However, looking back it shows how difficult it is to do, and that it takes a very strong character, to even begin to try to do something like that. I learned so many things about myself, and my understanding of relationships, and people in general, and I grew so much during those four or so years. I would take those principles of lifelong learning (especially about all subjects on human behavior and function), with me for the rest of my life.


Money is still an issue


Although I finally had a job again, and it was consistent, I was still unable to make the amount of money I would need again, in order to get back into a house, with the housing market at that time. So, I had to set an intention to make another change, but this time I needed it to be more focused on it being something I was truly passionate about. I was having so many issues in that relationship, that I just needed to do something for myself, and get away for a week, and sort out my thoughts, and to look back at the many years that seemed to be slipping by so fast, and all the years that never seemed to ever really make any gains on my ability to make a proper living. So, I went away for a week camping, to do something that would set me on an entirely different path for the rest of my life (this is the key point here for this article). With all of the principles of philosophy I learned from these network marketing, and sales companies, I was able to put together the following program for myself. My week consisted of drawing pictures, meditating in nature, and reflecting on the past years that seemed to go by in a flash. I also had the intention to figure out what it was, that I should be doing with the rest of my life. So, I made a list of my weaknesses on the left, and my strengths on the right, and tried to see where it pointed me for an entirely new career. For the weaknesses on the left, I only focused on those items… that I felt would be worth developing and getting better at, and that supported my strengths and general interests on the right.


Time for the evaluation



After writing all of this down on paper, and sitting for a few days (and meditation on it [even though I didn’t’ know about mediation back then]), all of what I wrote down pointed to Art (or general creativity), Technology with computers, and with learning to code in scripting languages. I remembered in that moment, the coding I did as a child to send encoded notes to my friends, and to have them try to decipher it… if I gave them the key 😉. I remembered my ability to teach myself what I needed to learn, and I remembered all the hard work I did in life up to that moment, and my artistic creativity, that could translate well into computer user interface design, or graphics etc. It was all finally coming together, and it was only because I chose to take some time out and “wait on my path”, that this realization would ever come to fruition. I also remembered the wisdom I had gained, with reading books like “The Power of positive thinking”, “The power of Intention”, “The magic of Thinking Big”, “How to win friends and Influence People” etc. There were so many books and tapes that we would listen to about motivation, intention, vibration, momentum, purpose, and drive. With all of this evaluation, came the realization, that I needed to think about going back to school, and learning a new skill. After some time realizing I had a great ability to learn, and to do difficult things on my own, I decided to sign up for night school for several years to learn computer science. From that point on my entire life changed, and I would become a computer programmer, working with some of the largest and world-renowned organizations in Healthcare and Aviation. I even had a chance to work on in-flight navigational data, and mapping systems for the Boeing 787 program (as a consultant), which was one of the highlights of my life’s experiences. I’m very proud of how setting my intention to change what wasn’t working at various choice points, took me down an entirely different path in life, just because I took the time to wait on my path ( If it wasn’t for taking that time out, and really listening to my heart, and doing the early mind mapping, I might still be answering sales calls, which wasn’t my bliss at all.


I ended up married a second time


I ended up agreeing to be Married a second time however, but I kind of knew it might not last this time due to the issues that I simply could not work out with this person. I learned how to deal with very difficult interpersonal relationships, and I learned how to muster up the courage to finally walk away from what was not good for either of us at that time. This was yet another skill I learned through those books, and through those life challenges (self worth), that only enhanced my understanding of what I really wanted out of life. This also helped me learn to value myself more, and to stop letting society define what kind of home I should live in, whether or not I have kids, or what kind of car(s) I should drive. This marriage only lasted 6 months, but I don’t regret any of it… because of how the challenges of that relationship shaped my character. Without all of my life’s challenges, I wouldn’t be where I am today (nor the kind of person I am today). I also might not have been pushed to do more with looking within for answers. I was always (for so many years), looking without for approval from those I was associated with, as well as from society,  and from family. I finally at this point in my life… found my personal strength and conviction to find success, and to also find what it is that I love to do. This is then what I’ve been doing for last 20+ years of my life, and all because of a single timeout at a very important choice point (or cross roads).


More to come in the future about my story


There is so much more to my story, and this is definitely the abbreviated version of just part of my story, but I wanted to get you to the point in the example, where I hope it shows you clearly, how very important it is for us to take time out for ourselves, and to reflect on our lives, and our choices. And now it’s time for me to reevaluate yet again, what will keep me happy moving forward, and what my passions are as I head into my retirement years, in the next decade or so. My passion now is with helping others to see their own self-worth, and the amazing value there is in self-reflection. This includes all of the things I’ve learned through reading books, and through experiencing some very challenging things in my life (as many of us do). This includes lessons of self-love… and also with the forgiveness of self and others. I can honestly say, that I have no regrets with how things turned out in my life, like I had in the past. I know now, that the things in my life happened the way that they did for a reason, so that I could grow spiritually, and maybe so I could share my story with others as well. I’m hoping to be able to pass on some of the tools I learned to be come successful in my life…. with a simple focus on strong work ethic, and aligning myself with my passion and purpose. Purpose is not set in stone either as a single choice, as there are many choices, and different life purposes at various stages in our lives (it’s very fluid), but at the core of it, is always the need to align with your passion and purpose. I believe there are a set of major things we come into this life to experience and learn, and it is our duty to listen to our hearts to know if we are allowing the good things to happen. We need to think about that kid who loved to write his encrypted messages, and the joy that it gave to him, and that voice that said inside his mind that you will be working with codes for a living someday! What is your encrypted message, that you want to share to the world? Register and reply to this article (or start a thread in our discussion forums) with your response, I’d love to hear your story!


Rick Maki


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Have you ever felt like giving up on your goals because you felt unworthy?

Have you ever felt like giving up on your goals because you felt unworthy?


With lofty goals, sometimes comes very difficult challenges, especially in the case of never having dealt with the things of the past (reasons for feeling unworthy). Challenges with motivation, positivity, and follow through, are some of the main symptoms of this tricky mental state. Some of the questions you should ask yourself are: Is this goal really for me? Is this something that I’m truly passionate about? Is there something deep rooted within me, that dampens my motivation? Am I feeling unworthy of success, due to some past experiences I haven’t dealt with?



Sometimes goals are just difficult, whether we’re aligned with our purpose, and dealing with our past or not. However, with aligning with your purpose, and passion, you’ll find that it is much easier to push through those tough challenges. If you do have things to deal with regarding your past, then this’ll be the first place to start, so that you’ll have a chance to experience lasting peace and happiness for the rest of your life. In my experience, and the experience of the hundreds of people I’ve discussed this topic with over the years; this is an absolute truth, that our past issues cannot just be stuffed down and forgotten; they must be dealt with head on, no matter what steps you need to take to achieve that peace. This can mean having to forgive a perpetrator, or even to forgive ourselves as well. Or to seek the forgiveness of others, if the things you hold onto are because of actions you took towards others. Everyone is worth giving a second chance, so find the courage to face your past and resolve it as much as possible, so as to release any negative blocks for your own personal motivation.


The building of negative habits



One of the things that can happen with past negative experiences (abuse, neglect, bullying, trauma etc.) … is the building of negative habits. This is where we can sometimes allow the things of life to get in our way or discourage us, because of how we feel our lives have been going. Some negative habit examples, can be with not attending to our health (exercising, eating well, taking time for yourself etc.), not spending time socializing, or with working too much (workaholic). Other deeper issues like drug addiction, sex addiction, food addiction (eating disorders in general) etc., can all have significant impacts on our ability to follow through on our goals.



There are very important principles, that we have to remember, when it comes to staying motivated, and feeling good about the work we’ve set before us. First of course… is to align with our purpose, but equally as important are the things we let hold us back because of our negative thoughts and habits. Many of us in the spiritual world (or of the spiritual mindset), have been working very hard on eliminating our negative habits, influences and behaviors from our lives, but there should never be an expectation of perfection. Perfectionism can also be another form of negative habit, as it can drain as much positivity out of you as doing nothing does. Balance is the key when it comes to your life’s success with attaining happiness.


This process of change, can include modifying or changing the kinds of people we surround ourselves with, the environments we allow ourselves to be a part of, and all of the life choices that may lead to negative influences. Just because we work hard at eliminating those things, doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to ever slip up. It’s not how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you stand back up and fight. Do you want to be the kind of person who gives up, or someone who’ll never give up no matter what challenges are set before you? You get to decide what kind of life you want, and this has more to do with your own intention to solve the problems of your life, or to continue to be a victim of your past experiences, and ultimately defeated by it. Read the power of intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer, this will open your eyes to the amazing power we all hold, to solve the issues in our life through our own intentions.


The importance of looking within


Many of my other articles, also talk about the importance of looking within, and learning how to forgive yourself, and others. This idea is not something new, and there are very many books written on the subject. Basically, my thoughts on this topic have come about not as part of reading books necessarily, but through my own personal experiences and observations. I’ve learned, that it’s very important to allow yourself to be an imperfect human being, even though we are striving towards the best version of ourselves. Just because you have this lofty goal of seeming perfection, doesn’t mean we should get caught up in expecting actual perfection of ourselves. What taking time to look within, and really allowing yourself to feel and heal your past does for you… is truly something amazing and powerful. When we heal the things of the past, we can create vast potential for our own future, which helps to create vast amounts of energy, new-found motivation, and much better dynamic in all of your relationships. Coming to terms with the past is a very important step in not just following through on your goals, but also with being able to feel positive, confident and motivated in your life.


Coming to terms with your past is a journey, not a destination


What I mean by that, is you may think you’ve settled the past 100%, but you may actually still feel the effects of the past for your entire life to some extent. It’s more about how we deal with the emotion and thoughts that can still come up from time to time, and then building new habits of thought. We need to constantly remind ourselves, that those things of the past are in the past, and we don’t have to own them anymore. Nothing about your past no matter how difficult it was, has to hold you back from doing what’s in your heart. So, to bring things back to the negative patterns we form sometimes; we have to understand that many times, these patterns were formed as a way to escape the pain we felt in the past. Those vices, or negative patterns served a purpose for a time to allow us to cope, but many of those patterns or not good for us long term. They are not good…. for not just the body, but the mind-body-spirit complex as a whole. If you’re out of alignment on any of those three areas, you’ll absolutely have issues in the other areas as well. No single human being is ever perfectly balancing their entire complex, but if we pay attention, we can get pretty good at keeping a healthy balance.


One of the main goals is


One of the main goals in dealing with your past, is to remember that if you slip up and fall back into old patterns because of stress, and then falling off the wagon temporarily, that you don’t have to beat yourself up over it. You don’t have to think that all the good work you’ve done to this point is now negated in its entirety. The very fact that you’re having this struggle with guilt… should tell you that you are still very passionate about achieving your main goal, and the goal of dealing with your past. None of us is perfect, but your intention to do good is the most important value to hold.

This is one of the most overlooked, and under discussed issues leading to the lack of motivation to achieve your goals. This is usually something that happens in privacy, and therefore never spoken about, unless it gets out of hand. Don’t let your vices hold you back, or be used as an excuse to fail to meet your goals, and achieve your success. Know that you are just as worthy as the next person of success, and that earning and thriving are a god given right, and not a right handed out by society.


The universe sets the rules not society


Through the law of Karma, and the Law of attraction, we are constantly manifesting things positive or negative into our lives, by our own free will. Every thought you hold, every action you take or don’t take, helps to define your potential future! Think for a moment about the decision to get married, the decision to have children, or the decision to change jobs etc. Each of those decisions sets you on an entirely different path than you’d been on previously. It’s not just the decision by itself, but the details such as “is this the right person for me to marry?”, “do I really want to have children at this time?”, “am I really interested in the job I’m applying for beyond the money it will produce?”. Each decision we make has a huge impact on our lives, and for the rest of our lives.


See the article on this blog called “Waiting on The Path”, for more details on the importance of stopping for a moment when you are at a cross road in your life.


In closing


So, in closing, you can see yet again, another case where not looking within, and dealing with your past can hold you back from achieving the success and happiness you want in your life. We all have a choice to continue to put our head in the sand, rather than deal with the issues head on and heads up. What are you going to choose success or failure?


Register and Sign in to comment on this post, and don’t forget to share on social media using the share icons below!


Rick Maki 

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One Man’s Amazing Diabetic Journey!

Our website is not directly affiliated with iThrive, but here at GetEstoeric, we feel an important part of what we will do, is to completely support anyone making a great impact on society, not only in a Spiritual Esoteric, and Truth seeking way, but also with the full Mind, Body and Spirit connection!


Jon McMahon has found the courage to not only face down is own demons to accomplish his goals, but has also found the ability and resolve to follow it through to success. Even with having some setbacks, he is learning the resolve it takes to get right back up and fight. All throughout his journey, he was thinking first about that one person he might save from the depths of Diabetes, and depression, and the feeling of hopelessness that can accompany this condition. 


Jon’s words of inspiration, are something I may never ever forget for my entire life personally. Jon talks about a profound reference to the childhood fair tale about Humpty Dumpty, and has some real amazingly reflective truths found within this simple yet compelling message. If you are struggling from Diabetes, and lack of motivation to do anything about it; perhaps because you either don’t feel worthy of good health, or that you feel like the mountain is simply too hard to climb, then you need to watch this video, as well as his entire Docu-Series if you want a more in depth understand of the struggle, and how to get out of the depths and stronghold of Diabetes.


In this video, John talks about the junk food addiction, and how he is turning his entire life around with turning his journey into a more of a spiritual journey, with a focus of service to others, rather than service to self. By serving others however, we are by proxy, always helping ourselves. Jon is learning to love himself more, and is an inspiration to us all, especially with his newfound insight into motivation, and living a life on purpose. God bless you Jon McMahon!


Again, we do not gain any financial benefit from sharing this information, and do so only for education purposes. We have copied the main page content to this article, for the purpose of helping to spread his word. 


Jon McMahon Shares The Secret To His Transformation In This Exclusive Interview

Can You Actually Reverse Autoimmune Disease? (Shocking Answer…)

Discover the truth in this free 7-part documentary series, featuring over 50 doctors, scientists, researchers and survivors of thyroid disease, lupus, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, lyme & even Alzheimer’s & dementia plus many more!



How It Affects Lives

  • Autoimmune disease can destroy your life
  • It cripples and imprisons the elderly.
  • It robs childhood from children.
  • It takes the precious moment of sharing a meal with loved ones and turns that beautiful event into a minefield with the reality that something you eat could leave you in a fetal position in agony.
  • It takes away the things you need most—time, memories, loved ones.

Affects Your Mental Health


It can fill your life with shame… the pain, the confusion, the question, why me? It can lead you to hide… and take a life that was meant to be lived in the light into the darkness, into the shadows of existence. The truth is, shame is a dark curse that follows disease.

The ugly horde of autoimmune disease comes with many different names and forms.

Rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, colitis, Crohn’s, IBS, multiple sclerosis, and many scientists also class the neurodegenerative diseases we fear most, Alzheimer’s and dementia as in fact autoimmune disease.

There are over 80 autoimmune diseases, and over 80 million people in America alone that suffer with one or more of those 80 diseases.

With a weakened immune system, we become extremely vulnerable to other chronic diseases, including cancer, a disease which one in 2 men and 1 in 3 women will get in their lifetime today.

The truth is, it doesn’t have to be this way.

You and your loved ones don’t have to be a part of these horrible statistics. You have the power and tools to rise above the cycle of suffering and death that lurks all around you and those you love today.

It’s simple, inexpensive and extremely logical.

But, unfortunately, the pharmaceutical companies don’t want you to know about it. The answer isn’t a new drug. The truth is there are many drugs that trigger new autoimmune diseases.

Sadly, your local doctor is very unlikely to tell you about it, if they want to keep their job.

That’s why my wife and I created this free documentary series. We’ve had family members suffer and die on both her side and my side of the family from diseases that were preventable and reversible. These Deaths have left a hole in our hearts that no void can fill.

Yet giving truth to the world has made a difference in our lives.

It fills our life with purpose and reason to keep going… to keep sharing… to raise a better future for our family, and to see a better future for every precious soul we come in contact with.