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Learning How to Forgive in Difficult Situations
In an earlier article regarding forgiveness [“The Power of Love and Forgiveness”], we spoke about the importance for the victim of abuse, Sociopathy, or neglect to learn how to forgive, and to focus their lives more on Love rather than on fear and anger. This article will cover some practical ways in which you can learn to get on the path to forgiveness, and to further realize it’s importance for your mind, body and spirit.
You don’t own the pain you continue to hold onto
First off, we have to realize that you do not own the pain that lingers (that energy belongs to the perpetrator), however we do own the responsibility of releasing this negative energy, and forgiveness is a very powerful tool. What I mean by that, is that we tend to hold onto pain for many years when something like this happens, and it is our choice to allow it to consume us (allowing the abuse to continue), or to choose instead to begin to dig it out of the dark corners of your soul. The process of digging it out, is one that takes a lot of time meditating and soul searching, and it also takes a powerful level of strength, faith, love and forgiveness. To get to the point of forgiveness however, we naturally try to understand or make sense of what happened to some extent. Looking at this from a spiritual mindset can definitely be helpful in many cases, especially those where the background of the perpetrator can never be known.
You cannot hold onto anger forever
To hold anger forever does not help people get past the pain, but instead addressing the anger head on will allow you to eventually come to a place of peace and happiness again. It may seem counterintuitive to forgive a perpetrator, but that is exactly what must be done in order to heal. The way we can do this, is to try to understand, learn or contemplate what it must have been like for the perpetrator of the crime growing up themselves. Really meditate on this, and try to relate it to exactly what happened to you as well. Are they a sociopath, or was there some other kind of mental condition brought on by the same exact behavior perpetrated on them, many years in their past? This is definitely not to excuse the continuation of what has happened, but rather it serves the purpose of allowing the victim to come to some level of peace, and to move past it, no longer using it as an excuse to be held back in their lives out of anger, fear, guilt, shame, or embarrassment etc.
Strength comes through faith and understanding
Mostly this strength will come through the power of faith; faith in something that rises above all else. Call it God, call it Buddha, Shiva, Source or whatever, as all labels really point to the same loving energy that makes us a part of the one infinite creator. The one thing we have to realize is that no matter what has happened, that in order for Humanity to ascend to the next levels of spirituality, and for the victim to stop the after effects of abuse, we have to start thinking about the power we have in Faith, love, forgiveness, and the clear understanding our lives purpose. Much can be derived through the process of mediation, and listening to your higher self, of a spirit guide.
This may not sound easy, or even possible
As bad as it might seem to say: I feel that sometimes bad things can happen to good people, to allow us to experience the contrast that exists in this world for the purpose of our own spiritual growth, and for the work we may do with helping others prevent this sort of thing, or for them to heal through the knowledge of our own experiences. If we later shift our focus away from anger and self-preservation (after internalizing the pain for so many years after a negative event), and into a mindset of solution oriented service to self and others, we can begin to realize that we have great healing power with sharing our most intimate stories with others. In allowing yourself to be vulnerable with the right people and on the right platform… we can help others realize the same tools and methods of survival that you employed to get up each morning, to live a successful life, and to realize that there are steps which can be taken to help solve all of our life problems, such as bringing a perpetrator to justice if necessary. If you don’t have that means of justice, you can find justice in deciding to not let that abuse continue through perpetual control over your emotions and relationships.
Align yourself with those that can help
I’m not talking about steps taken “in a vigilante way” (all that does is harden your own heart allowing the perpetrator full lifetime control over your soul), but rather I’m talking about aligning with people who have the power to really help you (with perhaps groups like this one). This help can also come through doing social service research for assistance, talk therapy, meditation, legal means, civil service offices, or through outreach programs in your community. When you begin to take real action, you begin to feel empowered, and will begin the journey towards your healing and forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean we forget however, so let’s not sight of that very important point. So, in this case, if we do shift towards helping share with others what you’ve done and continue to do with recovery, we are not only helping that other person, we are releasing so much that gets held inside. If you’ve not yet resolved this situation, knowing that you intend on resolving it (The power of intention Dr. Wayne Dyer), and are devising a plan to address it; this will give you so much personal power in knowing your intention and conviction will not allow you to ever give up (success is in taking action reflective of self-love). Devising a stepwise plan to address your situations ln life, will make you feel so much more power over the situation in the long term, and will ultimately be the process that will bring back your freedom.
There are different levels and kinds of abuse
There are so many different levels of abuse, including bullying by your peers in your formative (or current) years etc., and it still means having to come to a place of forgiveness, and never allow the abuse to continue through harboring extreme hate. If we look at everyone as being here to learn (including those perpetrators), and sometimes our paths cross with some really negatively motivated individuals, then we can begin to realize the power we have through the act of forgiveness… at a time when we have more control over the environment we are placed into, and with whom we associate with.
Take an inventory of your emotions and reactions
A first place to start is to take an inventory (perhaps through journaling) of your emotions and reactions to the situations in your daily life. Just simply list out all of your emotions good or bad throughout the day, and be mindful of how it makes you feel, and also what you might have been thinking about during those moments where your emotions shifted to a negative path. Then make a list of the events that had happened to you in the past, that might be acting as sensitivity triggers. Try to then meditate for guidance on how to clearly link up the negative emotions and reactions, to the events that might have happened in the past. Then the next step is in looking for patterns of these linking of events in the past. Once you have clearly identified those links and repeated patterns, you have to then begin the work of unlinking those behaviors. The first form of unlinking happens when we come from a place of source consciousness.
This interview from Abraham and Dr. Wayne Dyer, has some amazing nuggets relative to the law of attraction, and purpose, and the reasons that sometimes negative things happen for our own growth. There is no free HD version of this, but you can get the HD version from HayHouse if you have a subscription there.
So how do I unlink from my negative emotional triggers and reactions
We do this by first identifying the patterns, and changing the way we think in the very moment there’s a shift toward a negative emotion. Essentially what we do at this time, is choose consciously to replace a negative thought with a positive one. We have to first remember that this event is not still happening to us. if this is not the case, and rather things are still happening, then begin first with building your list of intentions of ways to possibly address it. You have to take action immediately, no matter the danger… because the danger of doing nothing is far worse than any risk of reaching out to a trusted authority, group or individual. We are talking of course about reaching out to friends, the police, or other family members, or to community services, and social services groups to help you. If you live in a small community without a lot of services, you can create your own support group that meets at your local Church, or through websites like meetup.com, or through forming groups here on this website for support and help. Once you have some practical steps figured out with how you will get this to stop, then you can then move onto the next steps of healing.
The effects of abuse can last a lifetime if we let it
The effects of abuse can last a lifetime, and will likely never be completely forgotten, but mitigating the effects of abuse, requires some really tough introspection to begin to heal and to let it go from our everyday consciousness. Part of that introspection, is with the realization of the humanity in all of us, and that “we are all one” not separates from each other. This reminds us of the statement Jesus gave when he was on the cross “forgive them Father, for they know not what they do!”. This was a very powerful statement, and an extreme example of the level of forgiveness it takes for people to truly be one with source, or god. Realizing the humanity in others, does not in any way exclude the perpetrator from Karma, or justice, but that in truly getting to this point… we are able to release the responsibility and need to hold onto the negative energy that can follow us around for a lifetime if we let it. It also can release our need to always react and feel like perpetual victims of life, rather than to focus on looking for opportunities to help others, and to grow ourselves in the process.
It’s okay to have anger at times, but work to move past it
It is perfectly normal to have some anger for a period of time, but it’s not okay to keep this as your permanent field of being. You may have noticed when looking at your patterns: many times, if we do hold negativity in our hearts for too long, we end up with such a low vibration, that all we do is keep attracting into our lives, the exact same kinds of people and situations. This is our test, to make sure we are learning to make conscious decisions, and to be fully aware of the consequences of each decision before making it. Some people who have been abused, tend to get stuck into negative or self-destruction behavior, or behaviors of addiction and escape. It is common for the abused to turn to substance abuse, sex addiction, pornography, eating disorders in order to try to temporarily numb down the pain, or to fill a void in their lives, rather than to deal with it head on. The Band-Aid approach is not ever going to get to the root of the problem, and that approach may in fact lead to a very negative outcome, if not a loss of your life.
The spiritually mature, know the power of faith and knowledge of source
They know this because they had to look within at one point in their lives, most likely because they had hit what is called “rock bottom”. Maybe many of the folks reading this, can relate to that moment in their lives where great change had occurred, and much of the time it was after a major breakdown, or hitting “rock bottom”. After an event like that, you will either decide to lay down and die, or get up, dust yourself off, and get busy realigning yourself with a newly found positive focus. I hear so many people in social groups, complaining about being a victim, and much of the time, they have never been taught how to value themselves. Learning to value who you are right now as a person, is very important. However, if you feel great loathing for yourself, you have to remember one thing. The fact that you are loathing at all about yourself, means you are not mentally ill, but rather you are likely a victim of your own bad decisions, or the bad decisions of others. We have to continually keep coming back each and every time life pulls us down. If we stop looking at those moments as hindering us, and rise each time to the challenge, and continually rewrite your next steps, you begin to shape a new character, and this process will bring out your true nature. All of our true natures, is to be a survivor, and to thrive in the world that we are all entitled to for our success and happiness.
One of the hardest stories of survival is
One of the hardest stories of survival, is when a mother and/or father has to make the tough decision to give up a child for adoption, because of many different legitimate social and economic reasons. This is just one example, of the greatest love a mother or father could give; and that is honesty with themselves about what they are capable of in that moment, and with their hopes for that Childs future. Now someone in this situation might afterwards look poorly on themselves for having allowed adoption. It will take the same kind of love for yourself, to learn to forgive in that situation, and to learn that it is okay to allow yourself to have happiness moving forward (we all deserve happiness).
Your focus in this case is with knowing that you can only accomplish this level of happiness… with self-forgiveness, and self-love. Knowing that we all come into this life, with a sort of mapped out list of goals to accomplish, should help in realizing that there are no accidents in this life. All circumstances are created in this life for our own spiritual growth, and for our own ability to have compassion for others in this life. Some of these kinds of situations we agreed to before we came into this life, and some we are manifesting as we are here through our own free will, and our attitudes. So, there is an overarching plan, and then we can veer off of the main plan from time to time… to get in a few new lessons, or we could be stuck on some old lesson patterns for far too long, making our original plan have to span multiple lifetimes to accomplish.
In one of our next articles, we’ll talk about the scientific proof of multiple lifetimes, and what that means for your current life!
We will continue to write on this subject in the future, so stay tuned!
In preparation for our “up-coming grand opening”, we’ve spent some additional time resurfacing and reorganizing the entire groups area, making it more intuitive to use. This is in Alpha mode currently, but it seems like it should be “good to go” for starter use. BB
Please let us know if you find any bugs, and we’ll try to address them as soon as possible. Your feedback is invaluable, and you are welcome to comment or report issues anytime through our contact US section of the website. Since we are in Alpha mode, we are still under active development at times. Please excuse the interruptions on the occasion!
We know our amazing website will become one of the best places in the world, to share all of your Esoteric experiences, in order to have a way to help others! We know this will provide a place to gather the best stories, and information available.
You will find information daily for yourselves, as well as to share with others your amazing experience, for the community to grow together! Namaste!
Hello everyone, just sharing a picture someone close to me took last December. This was taken in the early morning hours at approximately 2am after working late.
There have been other claims of people seeing this exact same shape just hovering above the treeline, both there in central Minnesota, and in some of the other western states as well.
Anyway, I thought you might be interested in seeing this. This photo is untouched, and not cropped either. The lights were never seen again. Sign up for our groups, and start sharing your stories, pictures and videos too. The world is waiting to hear your story!
Write your own Obituary before you die?
Now you may be saying to yourself, “This is so morbid to suggest”, or “Why in the heck would I want to do that”? I mean after all, aren’t we supposed to just live in the moment, and not care about the end days, as if they would never come? Or aren’t we supposed to live, laugh and love as if it was our last day?
The point of this exercise is to do just that, to see ourselves, in this moment as we feel we are right now, and to reflect on or past, and our accomplishments as well. When we get to the ends of our lives, someone who loves us usually ends up doing this for us. There have been so many times, that I’ve learned things about a person, that I never even knew about them, and wished I could have asked them about those experiences before they died. I also wonder if they know how much others will wonder about their unspoken contributions.
The things we carry with us
There are things we all carry with us, that might be good for the world to know, or to express. Sometimes, we go through this life, not really thinking about our past, or where we’re headed, or the real reason for being alive in the first place. I truly believe, that we all have a story, and we all have a past, and sometimes there are things left unsaid because we didn’t think it was important to anyone including ourselves. Some of us think to tell our story, would be boring – but you know, it always seems that when someone else is writing the story of our lives, that it can be very different story from what we feel about ourselves, or would express in that way. However, even if we don’t care much about what other people think, there is often an impact that we have on those around us (good or bad), that can be very valuable in our learning process here in this 3d realm.
Getting a different perspective
So, knowing this to be true, that people all have a different perspective, and those that love us the most, usually have the most accurate vision of who we are at our best, we could then take this even a bit further, and ask that the person, or persons who would most likely write your obituary, do their own version as well. This would of course be a bit scary, but I feel it could be a very important exercise in enlightenment about who we really are. Part of knowing yourself, is with knowing who you are in the eyes of those that love you the most. Why wait until you are in heaven to get an idea of where you are in this moment, right now. Yes, were all going to heaven doubting Thomas! We can talk more about that in another article.
Some of the things you can obviously address, are questions like: “Am I really living up to my true potential?”, “Am I really a happy person?”, “What does it mean to be happy?”, “What were the ways in which I gave back in life?”. Did you lead a life of service to self or service to others, or a good balance of both? Living a life of balance is hard at times, but is essential for our own happiness. In other words, if all you do is help others, and never help yourself, then you are off-balance in your life and your energies, and conversely, service to self in all cases, with no consideration of the effects we have on others, is also living out of balance, and can never bring true happiness.
Time spent in reflection is very important
The more time we spend in reflection, the more we can realize what kind of balance we have in our lives. Were you always saying “when I reach this goal, then I will be happy”, or “when I get this degree, I will really be happy”, or “when I get this house, or car I will really be happy?” We all fall into the trap of the so called social norms, and reaching for the American dream. If the focus is solely on things, and never on love of self and others, then no matter the empire we build, we can never find true peace and happiness. Peace and happiness, is found within, and unless we eventually decide to do that work, and make it a lifestyle change for the rest of our lives, then even if you do reach some enlightenment, you will lose the happiness as soon as you stop searching, stop growing mind, body and spirit.
Yoga and meditation is one major way to go within, and to force yourself to face up to the fact that we are all spiritual beings, having a physical experience, and not the other way around. We were in spirit first, and then came into this life with purpose, and goals to accomplish for our own learning and our own spiritual enlightenment. I think if we all think about it, we know when we are on the path to accomplishing our goals, and when we have given up on them for a period of time. I think even if we are not thinking consciously about our goals, the divine has a way of putting people and situations in our lives, that force us to go in the right direction, or suffer the consequences of repeating the same mistakes over and over again. It is not until we face our truth, that we get out of the wheel of Karma, and can rest our souls.
This exercise is not to place judgement on ourselves
So, the main point of this exercise, is not to place judgement, but for a time look at yourself in a positive light, and build on those areas. If you have a real hard time thinking of positive things to write, then it is obvious that there are things that you will want to work on. There is nothing wrong with discovery, and feelings that might be less than ideal. The point is if you go within long enough to release those things that bind you to a rigid thinking process, or to even unrealistic expectations of ourselves, then you can begin to heal those things that hold you back from being the best version of yourself.
One of the main things here, is that you are focusing on you, and you only, and you have to do this without comparison to others, or thinking about what anyone else thinks, except those people who love you enough to want to go through this exercise with you. If you don’t have those kinds of people in your life, then you will have to rely on your own personal reflections. This can be very difficult to do for those that find themselves somewhat isolated from friends and family. Often times, this comes from a devaluation of our own selves through some experience that happened in the past, or through some kind of abuse, that we allow to continue in our own minds, and with our own inner voices.
Pay attention to your inner voice
It is very important for each and every one of us, to pay attention to our inner voice, and the stories we tell ourselves, or the words we use in private. Sometimes we think we are okay with some bad habits relative to self-deprecation, and negativity, but those are the things we have to be working towards eliminating from our lives, no matter where we find ourselves in life. You have to know that no matter what… your life has purpose, and that if you can begin to love yourself for where you are right now, with what you write on that piece of paper today, then you are already on the road to turning things around. That’s not to say, that you go around being negative about being negative, keeping yourself in an infinite loop of guilt, and feeling inadequate or a failure if you have some difficulty with the process.
Failure is progress
It’s perfectly okay to fail, but not okay to just give up on yourself, we all know that’s not the answer if we are listening to our hearts truthfully. What I mean by that… is that we should try to realize the power we have with self-love, and forgiveness of self and others, as well as intention and motivation. One important factor, is with dealing with the ego in a way that frees us from the expectation of others, and the expectations of society, and the expectation of anything external. It is only in the expectation of our souls; what we feel in our hearts, that will bring us true happiness, and purpose in life. If we only do things to seek the approval of others, rather than to serve ourselves and others positively, then we will be missing the point of life entirely. I always have to remind myself, that in order to be happy, I have to find ways to be in service to others, more so even than in service to myself. Even with this website project, it has been a challenge to keep this exclusively in balance, and more focused on serving others.
Our main purpose for this website
Our main goal in creating this website, is to allow people to share their ideas, their successes, failures, triumphs, moments of despair, and enlightenment, and to share my own personal journey and struggles as well, In the hopes of saving others from giving up in difficult situations, or to give up on the idea of their own personal power through spiritual enlightenment. I’ve created this website, so that there’s a safe and secure place, where you can share those inner most feelings, without feeling like a target of bullying, or abuse, and without having to be identified in your sharing if you don’t want to be (like with other social media websites). Over time, this website will produce some of the greatest sharing of personally enlightening materials, because it’s coming from “real people like you”, who just want to seek a better way for their lives, their souls, and their happiness. This site is not just for the spiritually gifted, and is for everyone to benefit from the sharing of spiritual, social, psychological, philosophical ideas, and concepts.
Back to the challenge
Getting back to the topic at hand however, looking back on our accomplishments, and writing about how we feel others might have viewed our lives, and comparing that to what those who will likely write our obituary for us, will definitely be an exercise in enlightenment, and will hopefully show that you have a lot of things to both be thankful for, and things to work towards, and that no matter what is written, we are all here to accomplish something.
So, after doing this exercise, you’ll then see more clearly where you really are, and where you want to go from here. What is it that you would regret on your last days, if you’ve never gotten up the courage to explore your options in life. I know it seems low vibration to think about our own death, but like it or not, this will all come for each and every one of us, and it is paramount that we start to focus on what we want out of life for ourselves, and not just for those we serve. Is your life in balance, or do you need a big change? Are there ways in which you would like to give back, with fighting pollution, taking care of your environment, your community, your neighbors? Have you ever had a chance to think about those kinds of things?
We sometimes feel like slaves to our lives, but we always have choices
Some of us feel like slaves to our careers because of what they have to support financially, such as a big home, expensive cars, cloths, vacations, food etc. Sometimes we have to take a deep look at our lives, and really see it in high definition, and with an honest and open heart. Are there ways in which you can scale back your life, and your possessions, so that you have extra money to travel, to experience life, or to volunteer some of your time, or are you forever bound to the idea of being stuck, and unwilling to take risks? Personally, I would rather die, than to never have taken a risk to try to “live my life outside the box.” Living life outside the box; outside of our comfort zone, is the only place where new and amazing things can happen.
You can always get things back, but you can never get one more minute of your life back spent unhappy! It all starts with a thought, and an intention to make a change. That doesn’t always mean you jump to quitting your job overnight, and starting over without some kind of plan, but it does mean you start with an intention for change, listen to your inner voice (the one in your heart, not your head), and then begin to take good feeling steps in the direction of your purpose, letting spirit guide you as well through meditation and prayer. We cannot stay on our knees forever however, as we have to follow it up with motivation and action once we get the direction and desire within our hearts.
We’ll that is all I can write for this evening on this topic, but if you are brave enough to take this challenge, then I feel it may actually really help you to connect with not only yourself more, but with those that love you the most.
Have an amazing weekend!
Tricia is a new contributor in our social groups area, and this article was transcribed and transferred here, to help her get her message out to the public. Register now to start sharing your stories as well (it’s free to share), either anonymously, or as yourself. Some information was restructured to better fit the style of an article, but the message is 100% Tricia’s amazing experience. Here is just the beginning of her amazing story!
We all have stories to tell and share
I thought this website would be a good place to start to share my journey of spiritual growth through the supernatural world. My path includes God, Witchcraft, Christianity, Buddhism, and I’ve dabbled for a while in ancient Egyptian knowledge.
You are not crazy!
My intention with writing this article, is to bring to light my experiences… and to share my story with others in order to let them know that other realms do exist, and that people who also claim to experience the same things, will know that they’re not crazy either. In my life, I feel as though I’ve always walked between two worlds (this world, and another unknown realm). Meaning for me the veil between each realm has always been known to me. Most children seem to lose their ability to see and feel this other realm, at about seven or eight years old. My ability has been dampened over the years, but has never gone away completely.
The impact of this knowledge, was all driven to a high point for me one night, when I overheard my parents arguing about me; my father wanted me in therapy, and my mother wanted to let me… be me. I’m very grateful that my mother won that argument that night, because who knows what might have happened.
So here is where my story really begins
I believe I was around four or five years old, when I had my first encounter with spirits, and I still remember it to this day. My mother walked by my room and saw me sitting on the floor staring at the ceiling, talking to someone. She eventually asked me who I was talking to, and I answered that it was grandpa (He passed away before I was born). I just remember her walking away either terrified or confused. I remember my grandfather telling me… that my life would be a little harder than others who don’t have or use this ability, and he also told me not to be afraid of it. I felt that he meant harder in a sense, that I’d struggle with having so called gifts… and with learning how to use and nurture those gifts. I don’t think he was referring to other things with life (the normal world so to speak). So far, the way things have been, he was exactly correct.
In school things got interesting
When I started going to kindergarten, and had to draw a picture of my favorite person, I drew a picture of my grandfather’s tombstone (me being me), which terrified my teacher, so she called my parents for a meeting… hence the argument coming up again, about me needing to see a therapist or not. After that experience, I decided to keep everything to myself… and I made sure that no one ever saw me talking to dead people again!
Things starting to shift around
When I got older… my gifts started to increase in some areas, while they decreased in other areas. For one thing; I could no longer talk to dead people. I sensed they were still there around me, but that was all I experienced with direct communication with the dead. I could however feel what other people were feeling… and I knew what they’re going to do, even before they actually did it. I thought everyone could do things like this, and that this was normal for everyone.
I was protected by Angels
My angels made sure that I was safe from harm. For example: One day when I was in the shower I got out to change the cassette tape on the radio with wet hands… and I heard my female angel say “eh eh ahhhh” … which seemed like she was telling me not to do that. I grab my towel, and I ran out of the house immediately, as the voice was such a shock to my system. When I was sad or depressed I would hear them say “You are a child of light, a light bearer… don’t be afraid.” Later I was afraid of that label, we’ll get to that in a subsequent article.
The mysterious has always been a part of my life
I’ve always felt comfortable in the world of Witchcraft (spells, weather predictions, foresight etc.), and it was what I knew on a deep level, and was also what my soul seemed to be used to. So, my friends and I experimented with the Ouija board, but little did I know, that I could summon spirits easily. The problem was (is) however, that I cannot seem to get them to go home… which is a little unsettling to say the least.
So, we (me and my sister), have a ghost named Esmeralda following us around now, but mostly my sister now, who’s not very happy about it. That same night however, I saw a hand close the blinds in the upstairs hallway. Later that week… my mother washed the kitchen floor and she had no paper towels in the house. She had left the room for an hour or so, and then came back into the Kitchen, and there were paper towels on the floor with foot prints on them (With no one else was in the house). She was a little freaked out by that experience.
We all have some kind of gifts
All this happened to me, between the ages of 5-12. We all have these gifts within us, and some loose them, some stifle them, and some try to snuff them out completely. By the way, you cannot completely resist your gifts by stifling them, and you probably shouldn’t do that either. It’s best to accept yourself as you are (a spiritual being), and to accept the gifts that you’ve been given. You absolutely have a purpose, and maybe we can find our true purpose together. I have more stories to tell you, and I would be more than happy to share them with you all!
I hope you all have a great day filled with love and light!
Love and Forgiveness
What is love exactly? I think all of us have asked that question more than once. Is it a certain level of compassion, is it an energetic field, is it super natural or inexplicable? I would say yes to just about any possible explanation of it, because although there are similarities in people’s experience of love, there are also a variety of way people try to describe the feeling.
At the core of it, is compassion, forgiveness, a sense of service to others, and a desire to feel cared for. One of the main components of love, is a deep emotional and seemingly spiritual connection. I personally feel there are different kinds of love, and things that we also confuse for love, and things we decide are love, just to fill in a whole in our soul for a period of time.
Kinds of love
You can find one kind of love, in the love you express to a family member, or a friend, with another more personally intimate kind of love expressed with a lover. Another kind of love is found in seeking compassionate service, through volunteer work, through sharing of your own personal experiences (such as on this website), so that others can benefit from your own personal experiences, and so that they might not feel alone in the suffering they also had/have to endure. There is great love in sharing our most intimate experiences, but it can be very difficult to do that openly in social media, or other venues. Here folks can share anonymously, or as themselves, or both.
To refocus though back to the topic at hand; with all of the strife in the world we can experience, and with the news so focused on dividing people, and their ideals, rather than finding ways to come together. I think we can all agree, that sometimes things are not feeling too great when we become regular participants in the consumption of negativity. This can come through the news, social media, music, movies etc. To bring more love into our lives, will definitely take a shift in our current social norms, and our current ways of thinking (as well as the stories we tell ourselves). For those who have spent some time in mediation, and with doing the inner work, it becomes readily apparent, that what is going on, is a spiritual battle more so than any other kind of battle in this world.
This is a spiritual battle
This spiritual battle consists of the normal duality that exists on this planet, which was designed for us to learn from, but taken to the extreme. Throughout history, there were ups and downs, with the negative wining out for a period of time (Napoleon, Hitler etc.), and times where great figures such as Jesus, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Confucius, made such a large impact on society because of their great teachings. The one thing all those great figures had was a love for all beings, and all things in nature, or as Jesus would say, Gods creations. Even the many years old channeled books “The RA Material” (which can be found on this blog for free download), refer to the love and the light of the one infinite creator.
Love and light are such a common theme, that it begs to question why. What is this light, usually described as white or golden light, with the white light being the purest? If one studies many of the claimed near death experiences, and the claims of remembering being born into this world, they all describe this white light, and an amazing feeling of encompassing love, and oneness with everything. The most unimaginable experiences are described. With that we start to realize, that we must all come from the same place, and all come here for different challenges, and for different purposes. No matter who we are though, and what our purpose, love and forgiveness stand out as the most important lessons of all, that we are all tasked with learning. Now this can take a single or multiple lifetime to achieve, but is best if we are at least aware of the power that love and forgiveness gives us in this life.
Our energies attract the kind of love that comes our way
For some people, love comes easily, and for some it seems very difficult. What tends to block the attraction of love energies into our lives, is in many cases things that affects us with negative energy. This could be an environment we are born into, or situations such as abuse we experienced while we were in our most vulnerable years, that we have never dealt with. Some turn to even more damaging behaviors such as addictions, or self-abuse, self-loathing, lack of forgiveness of self and others. It is a choice however to keep this negative energy going, and as we do, we are inadvertently affecting our Karma for every negative reaction. I believe there is a force of negativity in this world that wants to keep people from realizing their own personal power, and strength. And with that the negative side tries to dominate our lives. However, there is a much larger picture at play, and I believe that we are all going to ascend towards enlightenment and love no matter the negative influences we may feel.
If we choose to turn around our negative thoughts, and seek out the friendships of others, through offering our own friendship and love, we can easily defeat any bad influences. Even the stories of the holocaust survivors said “they can take my life, and the lives of those I love, but they can never take away my faith and my love”. In the worst of situations, it is our faith and our love, and the knowledge that death isn’t something to really fear, since we can know without a doubt… through the work of some great and amazing mediums (such as Maureen Hancock, Anastassia grace, and Candace Dalton), that life goes on, and no one really dies.
Earth is a school
Earth is a school, and sometimes it seems like not a very friendly school. I believe however, that everything happens for a reason, and that we do have some control over the outcome of our lives, as far as whether we live a negative, or positive life or not. Much of success in the area of love, self-love etc., has to do with forgiveness. This is with forgiveness of self and others, even when we disagree. For example, to not forgive your enemy, or those who have abused you, your allowing that abuse to continue in many ways. To see that we are all one, and that people that do things like this are damaged or not healthy souls, and souls in need of much healing themselves, and whom must have also been victims of multi-generational abuse themselves, is the level we must go to at some point in time in order to forgive.
I can’t possibly forgive
Many people will scoff at the idea of forgiveness in those cases, but it is in all spiritual, philosophical and religious teachings, along with the thou shalt not judge kind of mindset. Now that doesn’t mean we don’t seek punishment for those who choose to continue a pattern of abuse rather than to find ways to heal (that’s what Karama is for), or that we’d in some way have to continue to associate with that individual. The point is more that the forgiveness is for the victim more so than the perpetrator, and that has to come through some kind of determination about the imperfect humanity in all of us, and the subsequent release of the anger and fear associated with it. The first part of it, is with really talking about it, through therapy, a trusted friend, or through introspective meditation and really listening to your heart. Your guides are there for you, if you begin to build a relationship with them, starting with the practice of meditation. Many of those who are victims of abuse will go on to help others free themselves from the stronghold that hate has on them, and the effects that this experience continues to have with the lack of the power of forgiveness. This is the greatest battle for all of us in life.
Understanding love and forgiveness
To really understand love and forgiveness, we need to become more mindful of all things in life, and yes that means to love our enemies like Jesus did for example. This includes getting out in nature more, to ground ourselves, to be around the water, the animals, and other people as much as possible. This all helps to remove the fear that our perpetrators put into us, by not allowing them to rob us of our lives, and our ability to enjoy it. Some Empaths say they would rather be alone, than to deal with the energies of others, and to them, I would say we all have free will to choose what energies we are mostly focused on. We have the power to turn around most situations, just with our own thoughts and energies, and with our ability to send out loving energies to those around us, even that person that just cut us off in traffic. We’ve all been guilty of reacting to the selfishness of a dangerous driver, when in fact this will only end up attracting more of the same ultimately, through the law of attraction. Now I don’t believe all of the claims in the law, but there is some very good evidence, that this law is powerful in many ways. You can read about my thoughts on that in the article called “Is there a problem with the Law of Attraction?”.
This is all I can write this evening on the subject, but I will elaborate more on this topic very soon!
Stopping the wheel of Karma
In life there are moments that challenge us, and force us to ask some really deep questions such as: “why do I have to go through this” and “why do bad things happen to good people in general?” Sometimes in those moments, we can really feel quite defeated. However, if we understand the purpose of Karma, and the role it plays in helping us grow personally, then the challenges don’t seem like they have as much power over us as they used to.
There are many things that keep the wheel of negative Karma spinning. The many parts of the wheel, have to do with our level of intentions, motivations, love, forgiveness, and compassion. The lack of any part of the wheel, throws it out of balance, like a car with a flat tire going nowhere.
Starting with intention, we have to first go out in life with the intention of good things happening to us. If we go out with an attitude of fear, and attitude of negativity, or an attitude of entitlement, then what is returned to us is exactly what we send out each and every day. Also, one day’s energy builds on top of the other. Conversely, when we set out our day with the intention of services to others, what quickly follows in many cases, are positive vibes, positive intentions and positive outcomes.
What about motivation?
Our motivation and intentions play a crucial role in allowing good things to flow to us. If all we focus on are the struggles in life, and we don’t find purpose in our work, then what follows is a lack luster result at best. A person can find success in an area through service to self, but it’s usually short lived, and requires a tremendous amount of energy and effort in keeping your head above water. When we shift our focus to “service to others”, and aligning our skills and talents with our passions, we begin to both slow the wheel of Karma, as well as shifting the vibration of our reality towards great and lasting outcomes. When we are stuck in the battle of “service to self” – which by the way is really a battle against yourself, and Karma itself, we can end up feeling trapped into a life that’s not truly authentic or really adding any value for us or those we serve.
Many of the most successful people who can sustain their success, have done so with a “service to others” mindset. For example: the difference between a boss and a leader. Leaders in this world build teams of people who are truly passionate about what they do, people who value the team, and whom are less competitive with others, than they are about being in competition with themselves. The kind of competition I’m speaking of here, is not competition in the truest sense of the word, but rather a focus on being better both personally and professionally each and every day. When we focus on our true purpose, and put love into what we do, we begin to see the success we have always dreamed of begin to show up in our lives.
How to define success?
To truly define success, we have to understand what it really means for us. Is success a certain amount of money, is it having certain material possessions, is it about attaining as much wealth as possible, or is it more about happiness? A person can be successful in anything they are capable of doing, in any profession, and with any amount of wealth. Some of the happiest people on this planet are those who realize that no matter what we attain while here on this planet, that it is all temporary, and unimportant in the long run, unless we intend on sharing our wealth with others while we are here. Our wealth truly lies in what we leave behind in what we gave to the world, not in what we took from it. Did you share your wealth or hoard it in fear of self-preservation?
Sharing our wealth can come in many packages. We can share the wealth of our time, of our resources, and of our love and compassion. Sharing wealth is not just about money. Also, money is not evil by itself, but it’s more about how we use it… that can be evil or good depending on our intentions. Again, the more we shift our mindset to “service to others”, the more greater wealth we can build overall. Whole communities can be transformed with a single “service to others” mindset.
What exactly does it mean to be service to others rather than service to self?
To give a good example, would be someone who goes into a profession, with the attitude of serving others first, and then accepting whatever monetary reward that comes to them for doing what they love – what they feel is a calling or was what they were actually meant to do, and guided by their heart and passion first. In contrast a “service to self” individual shops around for jobs that make the most money first, and then tries to fit themselves into that position through forced education in an area they only care about because of the money.
These people tend to be some of the unhappiest people in the world, and will have many lessons riding on the wheel of Karma as a result. There have been many highly trained or educated people, who finally hit a wall and burn out because they were never passionate about what they chose to do as a profession in the first place, and ended up either very sad, or choosing to quit the profession they spent their entire life learning just for the money, or notoriety etc. All is not lost even for those people, because if they do finally see the pattern of “service to self”, they can turn things around and live out the rest of their lives in a more “service to others” mindset, and will as a result be much happier with their position in life.
We are all taught that we have to get married, settle down, have 2.5 kids (it might be at 3.5 now because of inflation), buy a large house, have fancy cars, and that will bring us great happiness. Now for some people this can be exactly what brings them happiness, but for others it might be living a life of service in a different way than is typical or average. Some people find different careers and lifestyles, that make them happy, allow them to serve others, and may or may not include building a family, owning a home or having fancy cars.
The point being that you can be happy no matter the material things that show up in your life, and no matter how you choose to serve. The point is, that we must have a “service to others” mindset for any real connection to be made in life, and for our lives to truly be happy, and hold the highest level of value.
One of the toughest lessons on the wheel of Karma is
One of the toughest lessons is; that we must learn the value of forgiveness of self, and forgiveness of others in all cases, no matter the extreme. Because if we choose to return anger for anger, harbor resentments, or choose to hold onto bitterness rather than choosing love… then we keep the wheel of Karma going for ourselves, and the thing that happened to us… will forever hold great power over us.
Not that we shouldn’t ever have anger, or that we should never have resentments, it’s more about how we process those emotions, and the ultimate intentions behind those emotions. I personally have to keep reminding myself of the Karma that is involved in reacting negative to negative situations. The challenge is with keeping our reactions in check as much as possible, while still allowing ourselves room for mistakes. The most important thing, is with our intentions, and our ability to continue to be conscious about how what we do affects those around us, and to remember that what we send out into the universe will always come back to us. Our intentions and even our thoughts, are so important, and important to reevaluate, and to keep focused in a positive direction.
What about environmental conditions and the effects that it has on motivation?
This is truly one of the greatest challenges we have in life! What do we do, to change our environment if our environment is so bad that it seems to affect us in a great way. Firstly, we can take the mindset that even if we are stuck in a particular environment for a period of time, that we can always make a choice to find ways to make a difference in that environment while you are there, and we also always have control over our own personal attitudes. Setting forth a plan to change or remove yourself from that environment as quickly as possible, will go a long way in keeping a positive mindset. You never want to just accept a condition in life as permanent, because all things are temporary, and can change if you set your mind to it.
“Change your thoughts change your life” is a good book that can help people realize the power they have through mental visualization, and positive motivation. Also “The Power of intention”, is another great book that teaches you the power of our intentions with our ability to chance our lives, simply through intending to do so. Both books are Dr. Wayne Dyer books – an amazing self-help and motivation author.
Love and compassion – the emergency brake on the wheel of Karma
When all is said and done, at the heart of all success in life, whether we are talking about a work relationship, personal relationships, a business, a job, or pretty much anything in life, the key is in understanding the power of love, and compassion. Love and compassion if placed and aligned with your intentions, and your goals, will ultimately yield the greatest successes in your life, no matter the resources that come your way. In many cases however, the greatest material successes, being that we live in a material world, come through putting love and passion into all that you do, before even thinking about the potential for monetary gain. In this way, the universe goes to work providing the right resources, at the right time, to support your alignment with your purpose. The things you were meant to do, when we truly follow our heart, will always be supported in some way by the laws of the universe, such as the law of attraction, and the law of Karma.
So essentially what we are saying here, is that we want to stop the wheel of Bad Karma through this alignment with “service to others”, while speeding up the wheel of good Karma at the same time. The point is, what wheel do you want to ride on for the rest of your life?
How do I get started with a more service to others mindset?
This will take some real inner work (mediation and reflection [see this article: https://www.getesoteric.com/finally-looking-within/ ]), and some real soul searching, to evaluate all of the decisions you have made in your life, and really address all of those things that hold you back in life. If you are the kind of person who gives up easily or tends to make bad decisions, ask yourself why that is? Honestly ask yourself these tough questions, and look for patterns of giving up, patterns of only focusing on what you can get from life, patterns of victimization, and keeping the mindset of being a victim of your life, potentially for your entire life to this point.
Once you learn how to forgive those people in your life who have done negative things to you, and whom you have held so much anger towards, and whom may also have conditioned you to feel like you have to survive this life, rather than really live it; it’s only then that you can contemplate thinking more about what it means to be of service to others. For example, if you were a victim of abuse in the past, you can still learn to forgive, but not forget. This doesn’t mean accepting that person back into your life, it only means that you see the soul of that person as damaged, and that we are all truly one, and that holding onto anger will in no way help you trust again, or help you to live a good life, a life of service to others.
One way that a person who’s gone through something like that can serve; is to become an advocate for the abused, or to even go to the extreme as to want to change your entire career, and retrain as a counselor or therapist. No matter your financial ability to make big changes, there are always ways you can give back if it’s your intention to do so, and is part of what is in your heart, as purpose and passion. Joining a support group and sharing your story, can lead to so many new things in your life, including new friendships, and changed lives as well. This includes the possibility of volunteering at a shelter if that is something that’s possible for you. The value you will get out of these experiences, transcends any monetary reward you may get from even a change in career etc.
To summarize: The best way to stop the wheel of Karma, is to first learn how to reflect on your life, and then let the universe guide you in the direction of healing and change. Once on this path through reflection, and meditation, you can begin to take real action towards living a life of value and passion in service to others first, while at the same time serving and supporting your own souls divine purpose. We primarily do this through the power of love and forgiveness of self and others, and then looking for ways to serve, and to share our own personal talents, gifts and life experiences with others.
Good luck on your journey towards stopping your wheel of bad Karma! Namaste!
Charlie Goldsmith and John Edward!
Charlie Goldsmith & John Edward Live Q&A
Posted by Charlie Goldsmith on Tuesday, February 13, 2018